GOD, IF I WANTED MY EVERY MOVE NARRATED I WOULD ADOPT TODDLERS, OKAY?

Also, I would be willing to bet five Schrutebucks that the majority of dudes know exactly what these social cues mean. They are choosing to ignore them because they think that the social contract doesn’t apply to them in cases where the other signee of said contract is female.

Fake peacock is still scraggly looking when damp though. Anyone living in a wet winter climate would look like a drowned muppet 24/7 in that thing.

Damn, I missed that. He was still known to be pretty pervy. I almost mentioned that he tried his hand at movies (mostly with his recording artists), but Lance said “prominent.” Unless we’re talking about girth, Pearlman is out.

Extortion. But at least he's in jail.

I mean... that “older guy” they worked with who touched them inappropriately was Lou Pearlman, right? Wasn't he arrested for possession of child pornography a few years ago?

Ugh, being forced to listen to Swifty?

can we keep him out of USA too??

If you are super broke, believe or not Penny’s has some nice suiting seperates. The Liz Claiborne line is quite nice and the Worthington line isn’t bad, given the prices. They even have petite and tall in the store. When I was broke as a joke I bought one of their suits and it served me well.

....only one rock star. the other a rock groupie attention whore walking personality disorder and public hemorrhoid.

I absolutely love that they were together for a couple years IR & were able to remain good friends. Johnny Galecki seems like a great guy.

Yeah-she found out that the 90 percent he got on his 7th grade algebra test in 1997 (that she’s kept lovingly on the fridge their whole marriage) was achieved by looking at Ricky Johnson’s paper. She’s heartbroken but mostly she’s disappointed.

My first thought was Jane Lane.

Now Penny and Leonard can get back together!

WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE MEN WHO CAN’T GET LAID!

Dick move considering he could put on a show anywhere, anytime, and have lots of people show up. For some of these designers it’s a huge opportunity.

Aw, I love those girls for that.

My period has never been like other people’s, it does not arrive on a predictable monthly schedule. It will stay away for seven weeks and then explode like mt. vesuvius or some shit.

What I have to offer is, uh, similar, but the opposite...? It was the second-to-last day of school and I was so relieved because that assholes Jordan had made my sixth grade awful. First he had made fun of me for being flat-chested, and when I very rapidly went from zero to C cup (adult bra department KILLED ME from…