It would eat its crown, shit on your dress, and bray during the vows.

No but being held without bond might have, given the severity of his crimes.

Unfortunately international law won’t let us. That, and it would be the most overworked commando team ever (and would probably have to raid inside the US too).

I know the world doesn’t work like this, but I just have to make myself believe that somewhere along the line this crusty vomit stain gets what’s coming to him.

Chechen President: you’re a fucking mess and you’re making your country look country as hell.

Stab in while he sleeps, baby.n Ground glass in his food also can work. And nobody will see it coming.

That just seems dangerous and pretty sad for the wolf.

I think the flower crown on the donkey is totally adorable, if somewhat ridiculous. BUT — for God’s sakes, don’t put ranunculus on a donkey! The donkey is virtually certain to end up eating the flowers, and ranunculus are FUCKING POISONOUS. Killing a donkey is not a great way to start a marriage. It just points out…

When I got married back in 1998,and knowing NOTHING about flowers, I brought a lily-of-the-valley bouquet photo from Martha Stewart Weddings in and when the florist stopped laughing enough to tell me that I was looking at probably a $500-$750 bouquet, easy, he also added that Martha Stewart has nothing else to do but…

this event had everything and more: a poolside reception with mismatched chairs, “air ferns,” music swiped from the how-it’s-made video that came with the groom’s Prada shoes (IDFK), a cake topped with origami gemstones (goodbye), pink sea salt favors, a random stack of plates with a single flower head on top.

I'm here to join the sit-in on getting some goddamned long torso/big boobs blazers. Blazers are a serious necessity in my field of work and I am OVER not being able to find one that fits properly.

I know to avoid the ON tops that are made of that fake silk charmeuse fabric or whatever...because I don’t want everyone to see my nipples, even though my most padded bra. Seriously, that fabric is the worst, especially when all offices are kept colder than the 9th level of hell.

True and tangentially related story:

Aw she can’t afford a babysitter either! Celebrities, they are just like us.

I can top that. My dressmaker was dowtown during 9/11. Her shop had soot and grime everywhere. Without any other choice, she took all her dresses home to work on them. She had dresses due the weekend after 9/11 and the next, and she had to work from home with all these dresses in bags swelling in on her for weeks. So,…

I woulda taken three hours in the store and then snuck out the back door when she wasn't looking...

You're a good person. No one should have to put up with that shit.

"The devil's cupcake"

I vividly remember the only time I went dress shopping (yes, some straight guys have a sense of style/fashion too and I have a thing for wedding dresses) and was a bit surprised when I didn't get kicked out.

Do it. I wore a red dress for my wedding. So did my grandmother.