Like, I’m not even a vegetarian or a vegan but I cannot wrap my head around why ANYONE would be so bored, rich, or stupid to eat any of these things. Its just creepy, gross, and cruel.

That would certainly be novel.

Any word on whether Bernie Sanders is going to actually BE AN ACTUAL MEMBER of the Democratic Party or is he just going to once again demand to receive the nomination of a political party to which he neither belongs nor pays dues nor fundraises? 

I really would like to see Kamala Harris sink her teeth into D. Trump. I just want to hit fast forward on the shit show that will be the Primaries.

I had been a poor student for years, sleeping on an air mattress in a sleeping bag, when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her I wanted a duvet to replace my sleeping bag and a real suitcase to replace a weathered duffel bag. She implied she had some extra money that year and asked if I had a…

Stories like this leave me overwhelmed by the “what ifs” and deeply, deeply depressed by the math of rape. There’s the legal arithmetic: 1 sexual predator in the workplace = X number of victims = $Y in damages. 

People who have both adult baby fetishes and My Little Pony/furry fetishes, rejoice!

“She shoots out a stream of candy-colored goo from a heart-shaped hole in her bottom.”

My mother also ran over my foot once. She thought I was in the car and started pulling forward when I was only just getting in. She gets really mad and exasperated when I bring it up, but she never apologized.

I don’t know if this is disastrous so much as...bizarre. But when I was 20 I spent a year abroad in Germany. Unlike the rest of my cohort save one, my friend we will call Lana, I didn’t have the money to fly back to the US for the holidays and so I resigned myself to spending Christmas in Germany alone. Now Christmas…

I’m late (and in the greys) but I’ll try anyway!

I used to work in a psychology department at a university and back in the day, the head of school used to give nearly everyone in the department a fresh goose for xmas dinner. Why did he have so many geese? He purposely selected geese for his animal studies so he could gift their carcasses when the study was over. 

A colleague died at our holiday party. Major coronary on the dance floor. 

I purely despise LVT and his horrible, misogynistic shit pile movies. I want him to quit and go away forever.

Only a duckling mutilation and child murder?  There’s no genital mutilation or smashing?  Von Trier seems to be losing it.

{Lauren Bacall voice} “I’ll just slip into something more ... comfortable, shall I?”

Natalie Merchant. Don't get me started.

“Muriel’s Wedding”?

WHAT DID I DO WRONG????

You lost me when you typed this nonsense about Francos accusers ....”my word how quickly they had their beautiful photos out there - I assume they were waiting by the phone for the work they thought they’d get by sleeping with him or by taking the admittedly shitty roles he and everyone else in Hollywood offers”.