Does this mean I’m out of the greys yet? Yes? No? (Crickets)

I’m not crying you’re crying! Goddamnit Canada!

One year my mom ran over my foot with her car right after we got to my uncle’s house on Christmas Day. (I thought we were parked and opened the back to get the presents, she was trying to Meadow Soprano the car into a more perfect configuration I guess, since we had to pack a lot of cars into a small driveway). My…

They made us watch his shit films in film school. Like oh, he’s so brilliant with his realism and over the shoulder camera. No, he’s a sadist who likes filming women (and people, generally) suffer. Fuck that guy.

Why Latinx and not Latina? You are talking about women. It’s right there in your sentence. “Latinx people” might be one thing but “Latinx women” is downright nonsensical. 

YEEESSSSS. Because they played that one song every five minutes on the radio when it came out in the 90s and I was just like, why? This is a terrible song and also her voice is terrible. Kids these days with their Spotify and their Pandora just don’t know how good they have it. 

I loved his column for Vulture. He told this great story about Kid Rock and a hot tub, I’m not going to try to repeat it because I’ll mess up the delivery. If he would just publish a book about MTV in the 90s, that and the plaid babydoll dress I’m about to order will complete me.

I also read this as Ed Harris and I was like, “go girl, get u some” but I didn’t know he was married, since 1983! Good for Ed and Amy! My response to it being Ed Helms would be a confused face gif but I am feeling extra lazy today.

Ooh what is that picture from? 

I agree, but I was disturbed by how quickly some of the women who were accusing him seemed to write off what happened to him. Being violently raped as a child is much, much worse than having a shitty boyfriend who gaslights you. I was forcibly kissed by a complete stranger when I was 15 and it was confusing and…

Maybe Katie Holmes just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who assaulted a woman with his penis. And before you come at me with *allegedly*, I used to work as a video logger for a reality program that was about a recording studio, and watched one tape where Jamie Foxx spent 30 minutes trying to convince a…

I always felt Marmee was a monster for making her poor kids donate their Christmas breakfast, literally the only luxury in their whole calendar year, to the plague-ridden Hummels. Having kids of my own has not lessened this opinion. Let Amy have a fucking orange once a year. Jesus.

Childcare is not something only the privileged require. There was another story of a woman who lost her baby due to negligent daycare operators, she had no choice but to go back to work after 3 months or her family would lose its health insurance. It was an onsite daycare and she was gone for 3 hours, came back to…

Aww, man. Too soon.

Yep, I’m a masochist so I checked out the Breitbart comment section yesterday. Variations of “all those whores knew what they were getting into the minute they walked into a married man’s house alone.” So, for the record, if you are a solitary woman walking into a married man’s house, you are agreeing to sex acts…

Wait wait wait. But what did Prudence say? Did she keep the nanny?

I love Derren Brown. Love his book, saw his last stage show in NYC and was even picked at the beginning, ended up “winning” 50 bucks when he couldn’t guess what hand I had it in (still not really sure if he “let” me win or not). I wish his big debut for a broader US audience was...I don’t know what exactly, but not…

And there is 0% chance that even if this program went through, the quality of the food would be Blue Apron level. It would be Aramark or some other shit-food firm that lobbies for the contract, just like our public schools have. I went to public school, and the quality between the food there and the food at my son’s…

Same, for myself and for my kids. I don’t even have a Switch but I guess I’m getting one now. My son’s going to fucking lose his mind and I can’t wait.

One time when I was in college I didn’t answer my mom’s calls so she called my coworkers and sent them to my apartment to check on me (I was at drinks with the girls on my sports team). Not the Feds, but man. I feel your pain Bekah.