That measles outbreak fucking terrifies me. Note to self, never go to California while pregnant because you might miscarry due to some anti-vac dipshit.

I watched Working Girl for the first time in ages last night on demand. Melanie Griffith was fucking fantastic in that movie. The topless vacuuming scene! Just hilarious and ballsy and not about to let some boring controlling guy handcuff her to shit. I feel like we have, as a culture, backslid considerably in the…

As a mom, what terrifies me is that even though we don't keep a gun, there is the (admittedly very slight, given my location and self-selected peer group, but you never know) chance that one of my kid's friends could live in a house where the parents have an unsecured gun. Wanna come over for a playdate? Um, no…

MOAR

You rang?

Three words for you. "I regretfully decline."

My friend's niece died of the flu this year. She was 3. Who gave her the flu? Probably someone who didn't get a flu shot.

My mom ran over my foot with her car one year on Christmas Day. No one was drunk. My then fiancé had to carry me over the threshold of my uncle's house, past the dining room where everyone was seated for dinner (oh yeah we were late, as always). My aunt then proceeded to ice my foot in the pot that had just held the…

Yes, it looks like it. And now I'm sad Mr. Flames is all about his privacy on the internet, because I have an awesome pic from our honeymoon when he got too close to a monkey's tail that I would love to share with my Jezzies.

Dead Rising 3? I am up to my elbows in pumpkin puree and apples right now, and jealous as hell.

If you live in NYC, try The Bridal Garden. It's a charity and the profits go to schools. Designer samples and used dresses at least 60% off retail, arranged by size, no sales pressure at all. You get to go through the racks yourself. You take the dress home with you that day and can arrange to have it altered in house…

I watch Black Friday on TV from the comfort of my couch. I figure it's the closest thing to a real-life "The Purge."

WHAT? Well, I know what I'm doing once I get babyflame down for the night.

Eh, it's not that just that Kim K is low-brow. It's that she's such a shameless fame whore, and people hate to see that rewarded when there isn't another talent (like music, in Kanye's case) to back up the narcissistic self-promotion. She's that girl you went to high school with who's always screaming "look at me!"in…

And they don't let you combine coupons, so I made one $25 order to get a goodie bag of samples, and another to use my 20% coupon for a fancy face mask I've been coveting and get even more samples. And I don't even wear makeup most days, this is just skincare stuff. (Hides under desk).

Yes to all this. My college boyfriend dumped me the first time I complained about something in our relationship. I had been trying so hard to be the easy-going chick out of fear of what might happen that to have my fears confirmed the minute I showed vulnerability gutted me. I wish I could say I learned from that…

Really? Is it true or is it an urban cat myth? I want one but I'm afraid I'll pony up the dough and then find myself allergic anyway.

I don't mind him on the Voice. Maybe he's a douche, but it's not like he's John Mayer.

Ugh. So much ugh.

What's weird to me is that NYMag has the Cut, which covers fashion and some quasi- feminist think pieces. Why didn't they assign one of those editors to the story? Probably because Terryworld would have refused?