Just so I’m clear on this one...

Does anyone know why David Ross’ hat has stars on it?

Wow, this is a really underrated joke. Too clever for most of us here at Deadspin, I’m afraid.

Why do people call local broadcasters homers? Isn’t that the point?

Can you show me a single play in which two 320 pound players have run at their full speed at one another?

If Canadians get to jizz everywhere whenever they win in hockey, I’m going to revel in our basketball gold, thank you. I know that the talent difference is worse in basketball than hockey, but I don’t care. Just be thankful we don’t have football in the Olympics.

Welcome to the wonderful world of wrestling.

I’m not commenting on whether he’s guilty, but I’m just gonna go ahead and call him a rapist.

You’re the reason people think feminists are fucking idiots.

I’d love to see wilt shit all down the basketball family tree that steph is trying to look up.

Some people just don’t have the same Will Power that others do.

Hey, I’ve got one too (even with the same background music).

Buddy Hield seems like the obvious choice to me. Maybe Ben Simmons but I’d take the senior over the freshman.

De-escalating the fight, except for the part where he says “What are you gonna do” twice, presumably to that woman.

“I felt awful the first few days, I felt like I had no energy at all. I was playing games I didn’t even know I played, the first few games. But then the body got used to it.”

Do you think you’re coming off as clever at any point in this conversation?

#GirlScoutsSoBlack

This is a bad response, and you should feel bad about it.

Was this footage all aired live?

Can we get a Greg Howard think piece on how all basketball mom’s are afraid of former NBA players?