So... I did something today.

“Why doth the peasantry fret so o’er this ‘Black Death’? ” ~Lord Pence, c. 1350 

I refuse to click on the pink until someone explains what ‘side peen’ is, and why the federal government is funding it!

Damn, everyone involved in this admin is corrupt AF!

Can
Our
Valiant
Forty-Fourth
Exec (come back to)
Free
Everyone (from this mess)?

I can’t stop watching this.

The lengths women will go to keep people from knowing that they poop knows no bounds. I just get into poop standoffs and sit there until whoever is in there with me leaves. They go a long time sometimes, the longest I’ve documented is 7 minutes.

$69-a-month Birchbox-style subscription filled with “exclusive and vintage Donald J. Trump merchandise.”

Ryan Seacrest is upset that Katy Perry is being offered way (waaaay) more to do American Idol than he is. [Page Six]

So remember the guy I said I had a crush on from work? Then I got on a dating website and was hating it because I can’t deal with rejection? Well. Today I matched with the guy from work. And I’m like “Is this awesome or is this awkward?” I’m saying awesome. I liked him with a green heart and now I’m waiting to see if…

I can’t get the Twitter one to unembed, but all three of these should be sewn together into one super GIF.

Gee, I wonder if the dude who she had sex with was banned as well?

Hot Taek: The original Dirty Dancing was garbage too.

In the case of Trump, it tells us everything about him. All that bluster, but then completely submissive in the face of literally any actually world leader.

I guess Ted Cruz will never have your vote

He is literally everything the GOP claims to hate.

I read that as staph, as in staph infection and was super confused.

Dunno about you guys, but the red baseball cap is forever stained in my eyes.

oh, TOP gun.

OOH! I have a record player too! I guess I’m just like Chris Pine. Amirite everyone? High-Five!