Also great:

My uncle has an MBA and a doctorate in “leadership.” As anyone who has had a conversation with the man can attest, one thing is true: if the MBAs don’t kill us, they’ll get us to kill ourselves if only to be spared hearing them talk more. 

This is still my all time favorite and god I am old

I have no idea who Sameer Deen is but I bet he’s an MBA suckass who doesn’t know anything about his actual product.

I don’t even read The Onion, but at least I know this one:

I second that sentiment wholeheartedly. This quote tells me everything I need to know about him.

FUCK the Markles. I have a manipulating, drama creating, self victimizing father too. Meghan, girl, you’re doing amazing.

Subway is so disgusting that spending an hour in the place is unheard of and thereby suspicious? Sorry, it’s my best/only guess.

Who the fuck keeps pulling you out of the greys, troll?

Just shut the fuck up, and keep the drink machine behind the counter.

Just a reminder that calling 911 frivolously for non-emergencies IS a crime.

They don’t even make any sense when they call 911. Why would anyone sit around for a freaking hour in a restaurant with cameras everywhere waiting to rob the place? With small children in tow at that. White people can’t even attempt to make any sense when they try to get Black folks arrested.

Administrative leave...from Subway?  

“in order to rewrite or sanitize what actually was.”

The rings are okay. Posing like a jewelry model to show them off unless you’re actually shooting an ad now, that, is gaaauuudy.

It’s one for every child he fathered outside of the marriage?

He’s got a voice for radio and a face for print.

Parents on one flight, kids on the other?