Godammit!

And here I thought she had some strange new-Agey/Appalachian advice passed down by her mamaw like “I only exfoliate with Himalayan pink rock salt and suet soap every night. It just leaves my skin so smooth.” I can’t express how disappointed I am to find she’s just leaves he makeup on so when the fire alarm goes off and…

Come on, I lived in Minnesota as a kid, and she was legit Minnesota nice. And she looked just like Mrs Knutsen, my 3rd grade teacher, it was weird.

Jeff Goldblum. He gets kudos for his acting, but every character he plays is just himself as... himself. He’s the anti-Method actor: why bother getting inside the character’s head when you are already there. His directors just roll with it: Goldblum playing Goldblum is better than any character they can come up with.

Wanna bet this guy went home and shoved his lawn jockey too?

These days, you can’t say what you want (racist shit) in public, and now you can’t say what you want (racist shit) in private either, what’s happening to the America I remember (the racist one)?

Buck off and stop trying to be fawny.

His throw to home on the last play not only missed the cutoff man who could have at least made a play on the runner to second, but it landed in the on-deck circle.  Was this guy supposed to be an outfielder when the Yanks got him?  Sure doesn’t look like one.

Was watching that game and Frazier gave a clinic on how NOT to play RF. The only thing he didn’t demonstrate was letting a fly ball ricochet off his head for a HR. My dad (an insufferable Sox fan) wondered aloud if Boone would pull him for a reliever.

The best of both worlds: Barbeque Bukkake

Tipping is not a transaction: you don’t tip in exchange for a smile, better service afterwards, a discount on future purchases, the server’s phone number, or public recognition that you are an alright guy. If you do, you are being a shithead. The tip is not about you.  You tip because servers work hard for an unending…

She is going to China, and she wants to bring a bunch of gift shop flair to hand out to VIP’s.... in the country where they made it in the first place. I’m sure she could get someone on Alibaba to run off 10,000 Camp David ashtrays or whatever for her, and she could just pick them up right there.

He looks like Christopher Walken. I’m not sure if that’s an improvement.

Man, he’s just ripping off Gary Payton. He even sounds the same.

This guy’s full name: Fredderick Edmund VanVleet Sr. Dude sounds like he defeated the English in a sea-battle back in 1650, or discovered a planet, or lives in a lighthouse. You know he definitely can harpoon a whale.

Sign her up! The Nats are looking for some more middle relief depth, and she’d fit right in.

Or Judge Reinhold’s: “I don’t put my nose up at anything if the material is good. I put all kinds of things up my nose.”

It’s Ron Jeremy?!?!?

They block traffic crossing the road?  They shit on your lawn?  Had no idea my crazy neighbor was Canadian.

“Because those boys from Toronto, good Canadian boys, play the game the right way, the way it’s supposed to be played, not like that bunch of jerks from Philly” - Don Cherry