They could call it “Buell!”

I can’t afford a Harley-Davidson. It’s not that I can’t afford the bike. It’s that I can’t afford to swap my entire wardrobe for H-D branded merchandises. That stuff’s expensive!

The Italian-American “How you doin’?” Works GREAT for this, as in:

My response is, “She’s still an alcoholic. Do you know how much of a tolerance you need to consume a fifth of vodka in one night?”

Well, the way my mother made it, it might have been meat at some point in the distant past, but you certainly couldn’t classify it as meat any longer.

It’s a 16-year-old Honda. That’s way too much money.

Kashi is, essentially, cardboard with less flavor.

I love the Tail of the Dragon for this reason; becuase it’s a great destination for all the Harley-owning dirtbags to go 10 under the speed limit on. It keeps them off the less-populated roads!

This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I’m on a 2-lane road behind some fuckwit going 10 under the limit, I wait for dotted lines and a clear road, and I go to pass. Inevitably, the overtake maneuver takes longer than it should, because said fuckwit feels the need to accelerate to prove a point.

You have to drive recklessly to enjoy the dragon?

It’s hard to watch a movie when your goddam head is in my lap, sweetheart.

If you recline your seat, you are a selfish, horrible person.

It has nothing to do with sexual security; it’s called respect for personal space. I don’t hug anybody I’m not either related or married to, ever. And when someone who does not fit into one of those groups hugs me, I stand there stiff as a board with my arms at my side.

I NEVER hug women that I’m not related to. That’s just creepy, not to mention the fact that I’m pretty sure 99% of women find me repulsive.

Damn, I want that car. Curse my spinal injury that makes it painful to use my clutch foot for clutching!

No, just make them all emit the same noise a TIE fighter does.

Might have something to do with thermal load on the cooling system? Turbos run hotter.

I find it easier to simply ignore intended slights like that. I also find it easiest to completely cut people like that out of my life, but I am also a USDA-certified Asshole.

I wish to study at the feet of this Master of No Fucks Given.

I am intensely curious as to the purpose of this. My Kindle is about an eighth of an inch thick. Surely they don’t think I could make a bomb out of that?