Sewing unconjoined twins back together.

She doesn’t sound a day older than 106.

1. There was no need to write this many words about the “end” of a not-great movie blog.

Could you be more gay?

I know how to read and don’t need to be read out loud to.

Cam Newton stole his laptop.

So being a soccer star automatically means you’re not a terrorist?

You could have been a speechwriter for George W.

The terrorists’ plan was to kidnap the German team and make them naturalized citizens, thus assuring that Syria qualifies for the 2018 World Cup.

Yeah, I wanna see somebody get blown up!!!

I’m black-white colorblind so I have no idea what was going on at the University of Missouri.

They play BYU next, meaning a post-1960 record will be set for most white guys on a non-Ivy League college football field.

BOOM!

Haha, you got destroyed. Again. Too easy. I may go now.

You have way too much time on your hands, nerd.

I agree with the guy who said your mom’s a whore.

Thank goodness that the only thing you’ll ever own is a serious case of racism.

that South Park episode about Yelpers was spot on

You’re projecting. So sad.

Oh, and change your screen name ASAP. It’s disrespectful.