If the FDA would like to recommend a better way to eat my feelings I’d love to hear it.

hey FDA- FUCK YOU. i’ve eaten about 1,00,000 pounds of raw cookie dough and i’m still standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🙌

Which one of those doors is locked? Because that’s the one I’m inevitably going to try to walk through first.

I found it! The wrongest post on the internet today.

I’m blonde and insufferable. Please check out my lifestyle blog. It’s modeled on my lifestyle, obviously. I give out helpful hints, such as:

okay kevin smith; we get it. he was in your movies.

Personally, I feel like supermodels was a term given to the models of the early 90s - Christy, Naomi, Helena, Tyra, Stephanie, Cindy, etc. So, no, Kendall and Gigi are not supermodels. Seriously, though, have you seen Gigi’s walk? Go find a video of it. Then find a video of Naomi’s walk. That’s the difference between…

It’s striking just how flat Kendall’s eyes are in photo shoots. Sure she’s got a great look, but it’s all on the surface: there’s nothing going on behind that flat expression. And even though she’s the flavour of the moment, that’s hardly “supermodel” status.

#teamLinda

No malbec?

The very definition of leadership. Fearless.

CAL!!!

It is indeed a perfectly cromulent word.

I am going to go watch it, RIGHT NOW, out of spite for the haters.

I love you, you love me, imma trap you in a claustrophobic tragedy.

Let’s just abandon gun control and focus on gun owner control. It’s time we embraced the Second Amendment fully:

Wow! Mattel really has diversified its line of Barbies!

She’s a human woman Aimee! With armpits. It’s the lighting probably! She isn’t an alien that looks similar to you, sorry US humans with subtle differences like a lack of armpits or salivary glands who mostly eats tree frogs for sustenance. What? That would be INSANE. Let’s talk about how completely normal her speech…