Why were you playing along with that? It wasn’t funny.’ And I said, ‘Mary, I’m sorry and there is no good answer for that.’”

Hey, North Carolina GOP: if Clarence Thomas thinks you are racist motherfuckers, you are definitely, indubitably, 100 percent racist motherfuckers.

“i understand thats what partisan litigants might say” is the new “i’m sorry that you were offended by what i did.”

That was one example of his “ancient east is best” mentality, and yes I think it’s crazy to tell someone with a shoulder dislocation to not see a physiotherapist because they are amateurs that won’t help.

Not to mention, once white people discover brown people’s practices, white people immediately understand it, master it, and become gurus.

I am almost positive The Dark Overlord — snerk! — has said a version of this to a love interest, or 10.

It’s raining in centeral California right now, I can see it out the window. It’s going to be a very good year for crops after such a long drought. I wonder though, with this and ICE cracking down who is going to tend and harvest the crops? Keep in mind that a lot of your food is grown here.

Man, thank God we kept the Clinton family from increasing its personal wealth through the presidency, amirite, guys?

Is starting WWIII against Twitter’s TOS? Like, that has to be a bannable offense, right?

Look, it doesn’t matter who I killed, just that you remember I killed them bestly.

What? Did she doze off constantly or something? Cause if this was like once then fuck em! Cock ups like this are half the reason to have live presenters and not newsbot 3000 tell me they are about to bring me the sport.

I honestly think he doesn’t like going to work anymore so he’s just not gonna go.

Can anyone explain why the fuck that asshole is in Florida right now? Should he be in DC, since he’s trying to start a war?

I think since he didn’t let you waste your time running to the parking lot, that is pretty funny

I don’t wash my legs or my feet and I pee in the shower. IDGAF!

Your commitment to express how much you don’t like her is the funniest thing I’ve read so far today. Like you go all in with: “fucking”, then say, “dislike” instead of loathe, hate, despise, etc as one may expect. It really heightens the emotional rollercoaster we are on as a country. I love you, man!