Those of us in the know realize who Loki’s secret love is, Mjolnir. 

“Honey, that isn’t exactly what happened.”

I find this insane because OF COURSE I think about what I’m texting. That’s why texting is awesome. I’m much better in writing than in person because I can actually look at what I’m about to say and go, hey, that sounds creepy. Do not say that. Or that sounds odd. Do not say that. Or whatever. It’s not that I’m trying…

Sometimes I think I’m the only millennial who uses proper capitalization and punctuation in texts. Sorry not sorry for my pedantic ways.

I could give a guess why most of the jezebel staff hates periods.

Why do people hate periods.

Why do people hate periods.

Thanks for shearing this terrible pun.

I feel like you need to move along. This is a rational and well informed take and has no business here.

I’m torn. I’m a veteran of the 1st Iraq Shit Show and the Cold War. I didn’t join out of patriotism, I was in a crappy small town and I wanted out. It worked. Being the military actually MADE me a Liberal. (Kind of hard to hate people for the color of their skin when you share a life with them, hard to hate…

You really ought to go back and renew your relationship with history. This is not at all like what happened in Germany. There has been no fire destroying congress. Trump is not an elected official under a benevolent but incompetent essential dictator who is using an order by said same caused by said fire to seize…

Obama did the same thing to Iraqi citizens in 2011!!!! Where was your outrage then

Couldn’t agree more, as a secret service agent (in the Denver office no less), she likely wouldn’t have anything to do with personally taking a bullet for the POTUS. And a FB post isn’t exactly taking a stand. There’s several other things that she could have done that would have sent a stronger message (including a…

If her words were true then she really should have recused herself from duty.

I hate Trump but she really needs to be fired for this. Yes, she’s “taking a stand” but that stand isn’t really any different than doctors who refuse to treat women who had abortions or county clerks who refuse to certify the gay marriages. If your principles come in conflict with fulfilling your job requirements then…

I’ve modified it from an earlier version...

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

Awooga

I miss Pushing Daisies.