It’s a station wagon with cheesy fake wood on the side. Ugh.

Wood shampoos for everybody!

There are two things everybody thinks they’re good at. Driving is one of them. 

I like MTV. Mall Terrain Vehicle.

And even the plain clothes cop cars sported ‘dog dish’ hubcaps.

Reckless endangerment.

Like dating a hefty gal.

Maybe try knocking $100 off the TruCoat. That could “move the iron” for you.

But the dealership can knock a hundred dollars off the Trucoat.

You need better friends.

‘True, but you are still out that money while you are disputing the transactions.’

I, too, am looking forward to my geezer years.

It’s from the Lexus fugly face school of fugly. 

The process is more like getting a pilots license.

I wanna be the person that picks color names. What a totally silly job.

I no longer feel safe in traffic in a car when so many vehicles are trucks. They tower over cars and make it hard to see.

Sadly my next vehicle also be some boring truck. Why?

Starred for sitting on a narwhal carcass.

Anything to clean the dog’s anal gland juice off the seats? Or is that stank part of the doggie charm?

I’m 6'4". It’s so excruciating to sit in those seats for hours just standing up feels great.