*shudder* I’m pregnant with my first and I’m terrified that something will happen to my brain while on leave and all the sudden I’ll be posting on facebook about the miracle essential oils, wearing capri pants, and waxing eternal about the magic that is Kohls.

There are cool parents out there who still have lives. They love their kids but they don’t define themselves, from the alpha to the omega, as ONLY “mom” and “dad.” They just tend not to advertise that fact b/c it tends to bring the sanctimommies out in full force (kind of like how my agnostic/atheist mom who lives in…

I know it’s been said but . . . holy shit . . .

I’m a woman and your scenario is 1 million times more likely. I’ve actually had guys try the, “Oh you’ve got brussels sprouts, you should try frying them in bacon fat” or whatever and it’s extremely transparent. It makes me feel super weird to be so obviously hit on in a goddamn grocery store.

You can get fresh fries by ordering unsalted fries. Just make sure to ask for salt packets b/c unsalted fries are gross.

The dog was on a leash.

Good god. I’m still making fun of my husband for buying Charmin Basic 6 months ago. Charmin Ultra Strong is REQUIRED.

I’m trying to decide if you have enormous feet or a tiny head.

GAH my husband does this and it drives me nuts. Or he’ll choose what to watch, it’s not something I particularly like, then he’s staring at his phone the whole time anyway!

I worked at McDonalds for about a year as a teenager and I’ve never had a Big Mac b/c I can tell by looking at the pictures that it’s 50% bread and 20% thousand island dressing. Blech.

Wait, really? They aren’t next to the stalls or anything, but in a separate room or area. Like a powder room.

Dude you can discipline kids and they’ll still be assholes sometimes. Not sure if you’re aware but their brains aren’t fully developed yet.

Family law: divorce, child custody, etc. Which is CRAZY because most“unfairness” in family law is at the individual case level and is based on old man judges’ sexist ideas (women should care for children, men should work).

Red states are the poorest and the least educated.

You are correct, if the government ceases to exist then the government cannot tell you what to do with your own property.

Yes, there will always be a rental market. Very astute.

But your argument assumes people can buy a “reasonable costing house, in a reasonably priced neighborhood, with a reasonable mortgage.” It’s not just some “edge” cases that aren’t true for this. Millions of people in the U.S. live in cities where real estate prices are astronomically high. Millions of people can’t…

Except, you know, the government.

Yes and they’ll go up on your rental as well. Your landlord doesn’t pay those for you out of the goodness of his heart.

Hey man. It’s gonna be okay.