I responded to your assertion that lawyers, because they are not under oath, cannot tell lies in court. You didn’t really respond to that, but instead argued that lawyers can “obfuscate,” which they can certainly do by various methods and most often do by having their clients not take the stand at all.

They don’t all get paid the big bucks. I don’t understand how anyone could spend $200K on law school and then work for $30K in a very difficult, thanksless job. Your clients hate you, the victim and their family hates you. The public hates you.

Are you high right now? Lawyers absolutely cannot lie in court! If you were caught for that you’d almost certainly be disbarred.

I can’t tell if you’re joking. Dammit.

Lawyers don’t recuse themselves, that’s something judges do.

I’m shocked that your knowledge of the legal system is mostly based on movies. SHOCKED. Legal defense is at the same time one of our most important and most hated professions. I could never do it.

Hooray for sweet older ladies!

Man I first read that thinking you had a 3-yr-old and a 3.5-yr-old at the SAME TIME and I spent a few minutes counting on my fingers with a deep frown. Whew.

I like your mom and I’m stealing that line. I’ll probably use it 50 times a day at work . . .

Starred for “spraying milk at the drop of a hat.”

I guess that’s why it seems so weird to Americans, including me. I’ll get 6 weeks of maternity leave and even the thought of continuing to breastfeed when I’m working 60 hours a week is annoying and exhausting. If I had a year off to take care of me and baby, it makes sense I would breastfeed the whole time (if it…

A calzone filled with an entire pizza is . . . a calzone. Right?

Please tell me you are washing between your toes. B/c you have to. Unless you want the crevices to fill with cheese.

Oh god, scalp sunburns. It hurts to brush your hair, and they peel so it looks like you have massive dandruff flakes. *shudder*

Yes well tan cancer looks worse than pale not-cancer. I get it though, people are parents age didn’t know about that shit.

God, thank you. A “base tan” is just a layer of fucking damaged skin.

Yeah this url is making me REALLY MAD!

Every time I see this I grow more incredulous that an adult actually made this series of facial expressions. It reminds me of kids in high school who would snort ritalin or adderal in the parking lot and then come to class and attempt to look normal.

It is hilarious that you refer to yourself as having “the gift of interpretation” while completely missing the (pretty obvious) point of the tweet.

Honestly if you can provide an example of another politician acting like regularly at public appearances, I’d love to see it.