January seems way too optimistic.

Jimmy Butler will have him crying in the corner by the end of January.

Combine these with all the Derrick Rose injuries that Derrick Rose was on the floor for and I think we’ve got ourselves a genuine CURSE.

Fun fact, Derrick Rose has been on the court for this injury, Paul George’s and Gordan Hayward’s.  JESUS.  

Fultz wanted some tips from a former Sixer, so he looked up some footage of Barkley... playing golf.

I figured it out. His hands are sticky. He needs to give them a good washing. 

BALK. Runner advances.

As a Chiefs fan, I think the only reasonable thing to do is suspend Donald a game and teach him a lesson.

Oh sure but if I bang 8 threes I’m “too promiscuous” and have “no taste”.

<gently> He was actually able to stop dunking just fine. The image in the header is just a looping clip - it’s showing the same moment over and over, not actually condemning him to repeat his actions for all eternity. I hope this sets your mind at ease.

Turns out she got their blood pumping and testosterone flowing, resulting in increased performance!

employees told police this wasn’t the first time they had seen Howe masturbate there, but didn’t report it because they were hoping it was only a one-time thing.

Sorry, jerkin it is better than scratching a severe rash. Just take the L.

It took an incredible amount of athleticism for him to look so foolish.

I’m sure there’s enough of us to make this one of the most-viewed articles on Deadspin today

Tannehill should have been listed as “limited.”

I dunno. White guys with dreadlocks are usually pretty insufferable. 

If Hernandez is just flipping a coin then he’s probably doing a better job than usual.

Please shut the fuck up.

Time to put Elway down. Dude has become a menace.