Bagels should only be sliced like bread if you’re going to make bagel chips.

you never get surprised by an extra charge for sugar and milk.

Wow, the dumb takes from the real coffee (tm) drinkers on this post are amazing.

I can’t wait for everyone to ignore your very compelling scientific arguments in favor of their opinions on people who put anything in their coffee. Hey, guys? No one cares.

Alternatively, delude yourself into liking black coffee until you believe it and can confidently assert superiority over those who require lightener and sweetener. Then take things further into a zen state where you would never stoop to adulterating your own brew, but you accept other people’s coffee preferences as…

Black coffee is best for people who are into self deprivation. All well and good for a beverage, but if this tendency creeps into other aspects of life you could wind up being generally unfulfilled.