I applaud your willingness to belittle yourself to make me laugh. Nice job.

She seems nice.

What’s a “Gawker”?

I searched “below average” and got a nice selfie.

Now THAT’S how you play high-stakes fuck-marry-kill

Guess these hackers weren’t the real creme de la Kremlin.

+1 Rx for Fukitol from Mike Keyster, M.D.

i just tested positive for isthatol.

Trainer: What’s your name?

If it’s so important that teams stand at attention during the anthem, then isn’t playing it before they’re on the field MORE disrespectful?

Nicolas Cage once stole the Constitution to stop other people from stealing it.

“We don’t want Megan Rapinoe to cause a scene, so we’re going to cause a scene.”

Bears (carries), not bares (makes naked).

Yea. This droid is C2. Not an R2. Sorry Torch. There's something different about this one that makes it not an R2.

It doesn't hurt to try. Any time I can discuss a serious topic with someone who disagrees with me and avoid name-calling, I try for a little while.

You’re going back and forth with someone who took issue with the particulars of the way you stated that rape is an awful, abhorrent thing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with your original statement. You were doing the right thing from the start.

Why bother.

At 11:14pm MrMojoIsMojo gives a bit longer of a routine

At 10:45pm irieite came in with this zinger

Hey how’s everybody doing I hope everyone’s doing great. Some folks wrote some comedy comments so I want to make sure that their comedic talents are fully appreciated by everyone at Jalopnik so I’ll start up a thread to give out some cheers and some jeers.

The other C2 droids you identified are not canon examples