Recorded snake

Railroad spike

Can someone help me translate rerodrd snak?

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

Yeah, facial similarities are hilarious, Bill.

yougotsentenced.com

This is how I feel right now:

I'll be DJ Tanner.

Absolutely. Also shout out to alcohol, without which my immediate reaction to anyone approaching me is what the fuck are you talking to me for oh god please go away.

Finally, some justice for the friends and family of Mr. Buttons. Gone, but not forgotten. Thank you. But how many ginger-people must die before I'm out of the greys?!

My best friend was negotiating the shared tenancy of a flat with a gym PR manager who looked exactly like Mark Vanderloo. She brought him to the bar that I was working at, and just before they shook on the arrangement she called me over to pour them some shots. There was one for me too, obviously. We raised our…

Of course, Mila Kunis would be the one to take charge, remember Black Swan?

does he have many twins

I said this in another reply, but i wholeheartedly recommend a neurologist - I remember the first time I described these experiences to my neuro and he said "oh yes, that's called jamais vu, very common in temporal lobe epilepsy". I felt so reassured that I wasn't crazy and someone knew what I was talking about. I…

Hi, I never comment but I just wanted to let you know this is usually referred to as "jamais vu" and it's often associated with temporal lobe epilepsy. It is actually a small seizure in that part of the brain that causes that experience. I have these, and the panic. But usually both are very well controlled with anti…

I think about it in vaguely glossy, old-timer at the end of a young adult movie terms. When grandma's about to die and little Jimmy is like, "But you can't die grandma!" And grandma is like, "Jimmy, I'm old as fuck and tired as hell. I'm ready for this shit." You know how you sometimes feel so tired you can't imagine…

I don't know how to flirt, but I do know how to look like I'm being a good listener while staring someone right in the eyes thinking "kiss me kiss me kiss me"

But if I'm successful (rarely), It goes like this:

Imma let you finish, but Mr Disconnected is the best Jez photoshopper of all time

Saturday afternoon naps are fucking amazing. That's all I have to say.