Oh fuck off.

Why don't we ever hear fathers complain about not having time to wash their hair?

Is it still possible to describe every episode of every permutation of The Real World the same way?

Reading comprehension is your friend

I think it was here on Jez where someone made a comment a while back that still sends me into giggles. Whoever it was said, “The way they dress George makes him look like the ghost of a little boy who died during the Blitz.”

Is this a remake of Hart to Hart?

Do these children ever go to school?

According to Pew, 18% of the the 114th Congress, so you're not even in the ballpark.

Yeah, it's a shame those are the only two options.

Because refusing to tolerate hateful, bigoted, dangerous, violent extremists is somehow disrespectful?!

People should treat their religion like a penis: don’t whip it out in public, and don’t ever try to shove it down anyone’s throat.

You have to be 35 to run for the presidency, 30 for the Senate, and 25 for the House.

Oh, phew! My undergraduate degree is in history.

A 1250 page paper?! Christ, what’s your major?

.

He could always go out and get a job.

What’s your secret? I’m trying to get blocked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz, but I have been thus far unsuccessful.

Duncan Jones is 44 and successful film director, producer, and screenwriter.

Now?! Because you saw it firsthand?! I don’t even know what to say beyond that.

And there it is....