“hi mom, It’s me Jimmy. Yeah, cancel the party and catering company... no I won’t be playing... Coach Bill just locked my uniform in the closet again”

“FUCK!” - Jimmy Garoppolo

I cannot work up one ounce of give a shit about the amount of air that may or may not have been in those footballs. Let the quarterback decide how much air he wants in the footballs. I’d love to see a quarterback use footballs as flat as a flitter that he has to throw like a Frisbee. Let the kickers select whatever…

NCAA should investigate Jones. How did he afford that flamethrower he used on Dan?

As a Mexican fan, (I was born and raised in Mexico) I hate this. That team is awful, the fans are awful(not all of them) and for the most part the tournament was awful. The whole thing is such a farce that there is no reason for me to keep watching. I am also a USA fan (I have been living in the USA for 20 years for…

How has no one picked up on the fact that two prominent free agents had a name within a name: LaMarcGasolDridge? Seems like this should be bigger news.

It doesn’t work like that. Professional athletes don’t get taxed in-state for all of their income because many of their games take place out of state, and even athletes from non-tax states (like Texas) get taxed on their income for road games. So Sacramento Matthews wouldn’t have been taxed by California on all of his…

I have this theory that Denise hates her brother so much that she’s been deliberately trying to destroy the team he loves so much since she took over, what, 15 years ago. The success of the Harbaugh years was purely accidental and Jed has been sternly warned that if anything like it happens again, she’ll take the team…

To me, the last model looks blue with black hair.

I don't know who that color commentator is, but I want to hear him doing every sport on earth! Hockey! Baseball! Wing-eating contests! Curling! Darts! Spelling bees!

"It's hard to tell if Woodbury is doing this maliciously"

Three years without a test? What do they think those swabs are, FSU football players?

Hunters can shoot cyclists, though.

Wow, they actually found a way to put the words "Cleveland Browns" and "pathetic" in the same sentence and yet STILL BE WRONG. Damn.

That's only fair since Gilbert Arenas was a gunner.

"...the Floristocrats!"

Running is great. It is simple. Turning any fitness acitivity into a game of Crossfit-esque one-upmanship about equipment and which race to be seen at is silly.

Great, one more thing for insufferable runners to try to one-up each other about around the water cooler during the week.

Keith Law has the science on his side, but you have to give a man of faith like Schilling credit—