I’m pretty sure the second kid is half robot.

Much less than zero.

No, saying “most American sports owners are classless” is like saying the sky is blue. But saying Dan Snyder is “the most classless” is a special honorific that is like saying “the Sun is the hottest thing in the Solar System.” Its impressive, in a horrible way.

Alcoholism and drug addiction are not covered by the ADA, so no employer is obligated to provide reasonable accommodation for them. If McCloughan is an alcoholic (and he apparently publicly admits he is), he has zero case for discrimination. Snyder, Allen, and the rest of the people involved are just shitheels and…

Defamation law requires the allegedly defamatory statement be untrue but stated as truth. So, saying “We are of the opinion that Scot has suffered a relapse of his alcoholism” isn’t defamatory because its an opinion. Saying “Scot is a brutal alcoholic who was drunk in the office and in the locker room” isn’t…

Goddamn it! As a 49er fan, the one thing we could take solace in was knowing that we held a lock on the award for “Organization Most Likely To Fuck Over An Employee To Cover Its Own Incompetence.” Now we don’t even have that. I blame Trump.

Albert, I get that you are using the rhetorical device of overstating the weakness of an opposing viewpoint. I believe you would admit that a player’s defensive contribution is a part of the matrix of data that defines his or her value to a team (and, I guess, league in the sense that the MVP is a league award), and…

Also penis fighting. We do a lot of that. Winner gets to pee on the loser in the showers.

This is a fix. The judges will look at her and go “Ohhhh; isn’t she adorable? Spell ‘adorable’.” Her winning word will be “cat”.

Man, you and Haisley are really dumping on us Arsenal fans this week.

Of all the major team sports, basketball is the only one where a single player can make the difference all by themselves. But even then there’s limits. Jordan, Lebron, Abdul-Jabbar, Bill Russell: all the greatest players lost games in which they went full Leroy Jenkins. And all of those guys had much better…

I’m not a big fan of baseball’s unwritten rules, particularly when an asshat like Clemens used to bean guys for hitting a homer off him (fuck you Clemens: they beat you, and because you’re an AL pussy, you don’t have to ever face the consequences for hitting someone).

If he maintains his current production, his Box Plus/Minus would not only be the highest since the 1973-74 season (as far back as the stat goes), it would obliterate the record; he’d be as far above the second best (Lebron in 2008-09) as the second best would be from the seventh best of all-time (hey, it also Lebron,…

Oakland is like the character in every Lifetime movie from the 90's that isn’t the lead character that learns to stand up to her abusive husband, but the lead character’s friend who, as a consequence of never learning that lesson, is killed by her abusive husband, thus spurring the lead character to empower herself. …

I think you’re missing the point. By the time McCown became the starter (for whatever reasoning, good or bad), Glennon had proven what he was: at his very best, a borderline competent starter for a shitty team, at worst, a career clipboard guy.

I blame Trump for this.

I don’t watch FS1 very often, but this article is highly recommended for introducing me to the world “zoilist”. Nicely done, Samer!

“Vivek thinks Buddy [Hield] has Steph Curry potential.”

You could also say that “a lot of what’s coming out is ‘historians’ that plain just don’t like Hitler and would like that he never existed.” Their anti-Hitler bias doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

“Nebraska Danger”? That’s trying to hard.