The Raiders are vital to the city of Oakland’s “psyche”. Like an imaginary friend is vital to a mentally-ill child’s psyche. Like having a husband, any husband, is vital to an emotionally stunted, abused wife’s psyche. Like crack is vital to a crack addict’s psyche.

No, San Diego is just one big Photoshopped fake-out. Its usually really cold, always overcast, brown. This is what that bridge looks like, before retouching:

I am a “heterosexual white male” and I can say that the alt-right/neo-Nazis/small-dicked-Internet-posters-trying-to-overcompensate-for-confusing-being-an-asshole-with-being-oppressed is correct that heterosexual, white men have never been so under attack as they are today. Also, the Sun has never been as close to…

As a father of a boy, I cannot imagine a more insulting memorial for my son than: “the ‘Murph’ regimen, a sequence of 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, and 300 squats named after fallen Navy SEAL Michael Patrick Murphy.”

Admit it Jordan: you had already written the transcript of your conversation with Loria before you called him.

I starred your post very ambivalently. On the one hand, I completely agree with your assessment. On the other hand, what a horrible thing to have to consider.

Here’s the deal with pork bellies futures: look to the futures market on tomatoes. If the tomato crop is expected to be good, tomato prices fall, people buy more tomatoes and make more BLT sandwiches, requiring them to buy more bacon. Increasing demand for bacon = buy pork bellies now to lock in lower price when…

I’m grew up in the Bay Area, but my mom’s family is from southern Wisconsin (so, the “warm” part). My sister got her Masters at Madison and when she came home for Christmas, we all asked how she was surviving the Midwestern winter. She said that it was cold and had been really uncomfortable walking to class the last…

I remember playing in near-freezing rain, where there were ruts filled with ice-mud on the field, where your hands were throbbing with pain, and every time you kicked the ball, it was like kicking a bowling ball. Eventually, there would be 20 kids basically just standing there, while two little strikers (usually the…

HUGE West Coast bias.

Klay finished with 60 in only 3 quarters. What a quitter. If Kobe had felt it like that, he’d still be shooting at midnight.

A Philadelphia sports fan is a racist?! I am shocked.

Lack of a tie? Holy shit. As a long time Raiders fan, I can tell you first hand that getting all wrapped up in the “Ties? We don’t need no stinking ties!” attitude can be taken too far and become counter-productive, but c’mon! Derek Anderson? Ron Rivera, you blocked my shot in the IFC basketball championship in…

You’ve hit the nail on the head: a four game playoff is dumb. The only way it would be contention-free is where the final four teams are the undisputed champions of the four undisputed strongest conferences. Given that we haven’t had 4 strong conferences recently (ever?), this will never happen and you will always…

It’s 2nd down and short, so you decide to have your offense run a sweep to the right. Unfortunately, the defense anticipates this, so your star running back runs right into a wall of defenders. Rather than accept the loss of a couple of yards and trying again on 3rd down, your talented but not so bright back decides…

That’s kind of a bs distinction. A Cuban Hitler would have invaded other sovereign nations in the Caribbean and incarcerated thousands of people based on religion and ethnicity. Castro was an autocrat, but he didn’t come close to doing that. If expatriate Cubans truly believe that Castro is their Hitler, they are…

The biggest counterargument to liberals’ “Trump was elected by racist, misogynistic, anti-Semitic, Islamophobes” explanation of the outcome is the fact that so many Obama voters voted for Trump. They voted twice for hope and got nothing out of it. So fuck it, let’s try nihilism.

Golly, I’m shocked!

Even for a show about barely surviving in the zombie apocalypse, this season has been a chore to watch. Negan is too much: he is a practically omnipotent in his control over his people and the surrounding communities, and that’s just depressing as fuck. This show works when its about overcoming: if there isn’t hope…

Better idea: force the NBA and NFL to create their own minor league systems in which to funnel talented 18 year olds who have no desire or ability to study at the college level. It won’t end cheating (there will still be instances of women’s volleyball coaches or men’s tennis coaches that are desperate to hold on to…