Marvel Studios Executive: [frantically greenlights Uncle Drew: Battle of Justice Dawn: Guardians Of The Dark World: The Re-Reckoning Of The League Of Time Soldiers]

I’m more upset by the fact that they didn’t go with “Uncle Drewniverse.” RIGHT THERE, LOU.

I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not. A suspension is definitely going to happen. Never hit an official, and even though it doesn’t seem like much, those sticks can do damage.

Come on, now.

The judge denied his request to be sent to juvie.

Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

Yeah I tend not to care what people do with their own shit on their own property. If you get mad because someone has a car in their driveway that hasn’t moved in months, that’s your problem, not theirs.

“The plane is an eyesore!” -Some guy who probably owns a Nissan Juke

Looks like Chris Bosh isn’t handling retirement very well.

Guy got drunk and high before operating a motor vehicle. He crashed, killed everyone, and now it’s the lawyer who is the problem?

Maybe. Maybe there’s some merit to that idea, that they were making him nervous with extra attention for no particular reason. But the other way some of those statements could be read is he was a paranoid drunk guy with a big ego.

I would go just so I could pull my hand back and slick back my hair right when Trump went to shake it. I’d be a hero to all the other secret detainees in Guantanamo.

For a guy without a working finger, he seems easily triggered.

“Oh great so I gotta start off extra innings with some dude clogging up the base path in front of my hitters? Not on your life dude.” Dusty Baker

Another good one was when Larry Bird was doing a call in interview to the Dan Patrick show and Patrick brings up that Jordan had recently said how he could beat any of the current players on the Hornets roster 1 on 1

Somewhere Rob Deer is pondering why the Brewers let him walk. Just kidding, Rob Deer never knew what a walk was.

No way Walhberg plays a Jew. Creative liberties in script will lead to Julien O’Dellman.

Why do people hate periods.

Barry Petchesky wonders how they shrink people so they fit in his TV.

Welcome to Trump’s America, where even the black guy who’s successful is White.

Alternative take: Fuck Trump. Fuck the Pats. Fuck Boston. Fuck you. Fuck Atlanta and the Falcons, too. Fuck it all. Spring training starts soon. HERE WE GO, PHILS.