What was an ostrich doing at the gym on Christmas? 

Yankee fans deserve this. 

Twitter is great If you know how to use it. The blocking filters work. I follow sports and comediens and local fans of my fav teams. I blocked lebron james and the supreme idiot in cheif. And it’s glorious.

How does it say 1:58? Efficient seems to be a terrible description here. 

How does it say 1:58? Efficient seems to be a terrible description here. 

Who currently uses AT&T Park? You didn't say. 

Wade Boggs is very much alive. He’s in his 50's and living in Florida. 

You complain about the chicken fingers, but I guarantee it was the best part of your night. 

Or read even one verse of the bible. 

You got a source? I've never heard this and it sounds fantastic. 

60 grams in one shake sounds like a lot. Is that okay to do? My shakes generally have one scoop of powder, which is 22 grams. 

Simmer down, Kyrie. 

Put a bow on the envelope. Or something that screams “THIS IS A GIFT AND NOT OUTGOING MAIL” on it. And stick it in your mailbox with the flag up. 

What if I said you could attend a party, arrange a ride home and walk your dog without a cell phone? Is that something you’d be interested in?

I never knew his full name. Always introduced as Huck Seed on tv. 

And 35 more wins where the only offense came from his kicker. 

“You little shit” and “you little piece of shit” are common insults I've heard my entire life. It fits seamlessly with his jab at Schiff. 

You should post a picture of cool gloves.

The Flyers logo is the letter P for Philly and it’s flying.

Ditto Philly. 

The reaction of non-milleniels if they remove the Frank Rizzo statue is giving me an erection.