I'll waiting for a post-CPAC piece by you regarding your flight, lyft, and now, train issues. Why does Travel Jesus hate you? Have you asked yourself that yet?

Jesus, what a gigantic pig. that dude needs to hit the gym. that .25 percent body fat isn't gonna remove itself, bro.

I dunno, she got 1 and 2 right, as well as 7-10. Are you a peanut butter loving weirdo? Is that what this is?

Not that looks actually matter, but I'm wondering if he is an 'attractive' guy or not.

Best response.

Your friend is nice. I would have whipped it at her fucking head.

They used to be that cheap a few years ago on various native american reservations. Also, if you have a friend in the military, they get them pretty cheap as well. But, yes, in general, this guy is not connected to reality on several levels.

When you find out, ask what the male equivalent is. I'll tattoo it on my forehead.

Movie star, rock star, large dong owner. shredded ab haver. I doubt he has to work very hard for some lovin'. Unless he falls head over heels in love with her, I don't think he'd put a ton of effort into making it happen with her.

HEY! I know PLENTY about female anatomy. For example: the shin bone's connected to the neck b - hold on, that's not right.

I'm wondering about her fiance. Was he under the impression it was his baby, or does he just have a thing for getting engaged to pregnant 17 year olds that live 3 time zones away. My guess is that the fake baby was supposed to be his and he proposed to "do the right thing", but everyone in this story is such a…

I was just thinking about how horribly greasy he is in this trailer. The chewing with his mouth open is the worst.

May I suggest a name? Organ Grindr.

Well, you are a ghost, or...two, round ghosts. Weird stuff is gonna happen.

oh shit, did I mess up?

Just the mere odor of a strange male's soiled bedding is enough to block pregnancy in woodland voles Microtus pinetorum.

You could have replaced that guy with Rowan Atkinson, and he couldn't have done a better job botching that escape.

Love CHVRCHES! Also, Lauren's eyeballs are like portals to another dimension.

Same boat, sort of. My situation is a bit complicated, so it's just easier to binge netflix and go to bed early.

Tip: that fake baby in American Sniper was actually Daniel Day-Lewis' real baby.