I'd bet good money that this guy jerks off to the darkest thoughts anybody has ever had, then cuts himself afterwards to help bleed the "evil thoughts" out. Also, $20 he gets caught sniffing yoga pants he stole from someone's dirty laundry within the next 2 years.

Anastasia refers to her ass as her "behind," her vagina as her "sex." Her juvenile exclamations of "Jeez!" and "Oh, my!" and "Hmmm" are interspersed with the least specific descriptions of Christian Grey—the guy who threatens to beat her up for mouthing off or misbehaving—as the hottest man in the history of…

Sweet! Should we bring anything like Soda, or Cheez-its? Are you providing us with our own individual foot slaves, or are we going to have to share one?

Supercalilickmyassholeexpialidocious

Not to have children is a selfish choice

I'm offended as well. I think there should be more dong in movies. Seeing a 10 foot penis on the screen would help inspire my own penis to reach for the stars. It currently just sits between my legs all day and doesn't do anything. Why am I carrying this fool? He needs to earn his keep. Legs earn it, arms earn it, why…

Tim Burton's 'Big Fish 2' joke goes here .

The internet has been around too long for people with a full attention span and a grasp of logic to fall for this. On another website where I post, there was a guy who said he did all these things that we could easily find out that he didn't. He even created an account of a 'fake sister' to back up his stories,…

(Semi-Tinfoil Hat) Hypothesis:

I wouldn't eat vagina yogurt unless it comes from Gwyneth's steamed vagina. Then I know it's free of debris, and loaded with 9 different types of vitamins and pretension.

This story breaks my fucking heart every time I hear about, and I have caveman-like urges to just decimate the people involved and those who would smear her into piles of meat and bone. This is just sickening icing on a shit cake being baked in the age of disinformation warfare.

And after it was over we all felt like crap.

I eat like a human in mixed company, parties, etc. but alone I just tear through it. I get no really joy from food. I can eat the same meal 5-6 times a week and not care, not get sick of it. But I do eat a bit slower these days and take smaller bites because I live alone and would hate to die choking.

Just watched that again the other night. Silly, silly fun.

Indeed. That's leatherface from the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie...which is why I thought the OP was a bit shocking. :)

Why do they need to DM her? They can just ask their driver what her number is.

I screwed hundreds of hot chicks, I was popular, people wanted my picture

I glanced too quickly at your gif and thought it was this.

As a man who admittedly knows nothing about fashion, i'm really offended by his beanie choice. If I showed up wearing that, I'd expect a woman to shut the drapes, change her number, and exclusively date men that never wore hats for the next five years.

That should be "heard" about it. Still newish here. I guess there is a time limit to how long you can edit a post.