Definitely people can split during pregnancy and make things work out sanely, and even live together civilly, but generally those are really mature and honest people who happen to realize during a pregnancy that they aren’t really suited for one another. The sort of people who care for one another, but realize it…

Yeah, everything you need to do right now sucks, but you have two months to get it done before the hardest work of your life kicks in. It won’t be hard forever — in fact, it’ll get easier every single day — but taking care of a newborn is no small feat and you deserve people on Team You that you can count on.

The last time Jane gave this sort of shitty advice to some poor woman stuck in a relationship with a lying/abusive asshole, one of the comments was really insightful and stuck with me: “people write to advice columns to be told what they already know but wish they didn’t.”

I have never said that to a guy but I have had more than one boyfriend tell me I needed to stop talking to men that that I knew.

my fingers can reach the shift key. i just don’t bother with capitalisation most of the time, unless it’s necessary to establish meaning (like distinguishing acronyms.) there is a difference between “can’t” and “chooses not to”.

yeah, I mean, I’m three months in to this marriage thing so I’m feeling pretty good about it at the moment, but moving everything into a joint feels way too much like giving up ALL my autonomy and ability to leave if shit truly hits the fan. And, in the shorter term honeymoon stage, it means we both can spend money…

yeah I straightup would rather my husband have sex with a rando than have an emotional affair (with no sex) like this.

Eh - I’ve had more than one straight man attempt to demand that I “cease all contact forever” with another guy. Shit goes both ways.

This is what is called an emotional affair, it’s an affair of the heart. For this reason, they’re even more nasty than the ones that are purely physical. “He didn’t want my body” becomes “he didn’t really want me”. This is when you’re in love with someone else and continue to interact with them despite being with your…

Exactly. There’s mistakes, and then there’s deliberate, ongoing deception. One is forgiveavle. The other...

Are we certain of that? She told him he couldn’t ever talk to someone again, that’s no way to go into a relationship. You can’t blame “all him” when the first thing she did was start banning him from talking to people he knew before. And we don’t know what has been said, it could be that simply staying in contact…

Yeah. I honestly could probably forgive a one night stand at a conference or some dumbfuck impulse control thing (I mean, it wouldn’t be pretty but I think I could do it). This...I could not forgive this. Not to get all melodramatic (j/k, totally about to get all melodramatic), but he STOOD AT AN ALTAR and SWORE TO…

What is she doing going through his email? Why does she have the right to say “you can’t speak to a woman you shared one kiss with?” And WTF why are women like this?

YUP.

Jane is terrible at this. And when I read that bit about foisting child rearing on him to punish him for cheating, my jaw dropped. Cause that’s really the relationship you want to foster between your child and its father.

I mentioned this below, but he’s been doing this for the entirety of their relationship. Their courtship, engagement, marriage, honeymoon phase, and ultimately their child are conceived of a lie. “He’s a douche” is such an awful way to simplify the magnitude of his sin, and “you have him by the strings” is laughable.…

He’s been doing this for half a decade. And mind you, this was before they got engaged, during their engagement, during the honeymoon phase, and everything after. Their relationship has been a lie for the most part and nothing can salvage it. Nothing.

You deceive me for five years, your wants no longer matter.

LW 1: GET OUT. Do not listen to this advice here and get out now. It’s not going to get better.

The amount of time that affair continued, along with the lengths he went to to cover it up tell me one thing: He won’t stop. He sounds messed up. You sort of have to be to carry something on like that for so long. My husband carried on a affair for a long time and eventually came clean to me. He also has some…