omg that sounds so exciting. i wonder who will win...?

Yeah my rich aunt is crazy which in a restaurant becomes like omg the server asked to clear plates too soon, put something somewhere on the table she doesn’t approve of, didn’the offer something enough, did this did that, any stupid thing... but oh she was a host at an upscale restaurant for 2 months during her MBA so…

The other day on my break I saw a car parked at walmart. AMERICA FIRST was plastered across the back window, flags on the bumper lid and pretty much a cornicopia of racist and xenophobic bumper stickers. “Do we really need a black man asking america for change? [Obama pictured here]”, “BUCK OFAMA”, “U.S. Illegal…

Jeez, what a baby. What’s so bad about pleasuring a dog? I don’t particularly like dogs, but they’re not hard to please at all. Just pet them, scratch behind the ears. Wait...

I had a family member get reaaaally into a detox smoothie diet after someone gave them a book on it.

^^^This, this, this! False nostalgia for a past that never really was...

To the folks that spout natural, I always point out that asbestos is natural, as is arsenic...

Well, it’s certainly something everybody’s wives used to do.

You get a charlatan and you get a charlatan! Everyone gets a charlatan!

My roommate for the summer believes in toxins and doesn’t seem to understand that your body already filters out waste material through your liver and kidneys and shit. She studies public health, God help us all.

For me Blue Apron and services like this are so valuable.

I already found a warden candidate:

To these people, anything with a complex name they can’t understand is a toxin that will kill you.

I got my nails done today, and I had to sit through a few minutes of the doctor oz show while i was the lobby.

Do Saks 5th Ave sales people have insurance benefits?

4) Suffer from a neurological illnesses that is not only painful but super fatiguing.

I’m going to flash my own incompetence, perhaps, but after a long day I’m a little tired of making those decisions, and moreover, I’m likely to screw up any of those processes. Forget some garlic, buy the wrong amount, pick a bad recipe, get the proportions wrong in an imprecise recipe, etc. And if I want to make…

My cousin and his wife use Blue Apron fairly frequently. Of course, he is an ER physician and she is a general surgeon (both in NYC), so the last thing they want to do with the little time that they have off of work and together is go grocery shopping.

Also, I’m pretty sure that Blue Apron costs less per person than…

I don’t want to do those things all the time

I basically hate makeup but I love Kevyn Aucoin. Since I was a kid. He was a legend and a unicorn and there will never be another.