It’s just hard to imagine a man who looks like a hyper-inflated four-year-old throwing a fit.

He must live rather easily with all the money he won off those games.

“Hey, let’s go to that planet!”

Don’t worry. All you’ll have to wait is two months into the XFL season, when it folds, to laugh at him again.

I thought a Great Irish Bake Off was when 3 people simultaneously vomit.

Whitney Cummings’ resumè is an example of what one would call a Shit Midas.

Yes, because being quiet when you don’t like something is a longstanding conservative tradition.

This would be a fantastic opportunity for some would-be Ted Turner to look into buying Ring of Honor or New Japan a TV contract for what must be a fraction of the E’s demands.

I’ve never seen this. Did the Men on a Mission technically invent crumping?!

I missed this. I was busy eating sheet cake.

And those people who read pre-written statements from the people holding them hostage mean every word they say, too.

Julius Randle? And the prospects of an all-Calipari alumni starting five in the NBA send the state of Kentucky a-quivering.

Why don’t they leave the babies with their governess or something?!

Why, does the Cleveland Clinic have a special on hip replacements?

Oh, man, nothing excites baseball fans like the Braves in their ‘90s peak! Change-ups and sliders, as many as three runs in an entire game, and a guaranteed collapse before the NL championships.

Welcome to Toronto, Rick Pitino.

Bortles’ biopic would likely make for a surefire screwball comedy hit.

If he improves his game next year as much as is expected, we could be witnessing the first ever back-to-back Rookie of the Year.

Hope you’re not basing that on Tidal stream stats.

Today somebody has the unenviable task of explaining to a Processor that you don’t get any draft picks losing in the playoffs.