Excellent use of the broupé, a baseball cap that serves no purpose other than hide a bald spot.

I highly recommend the Japanese fried rice.

Don’t smoke so much at once. It makes you paranoid.

But who in the 90s could believe a talented basketball player would gamble his winnings away?

“Why doesn’t he just wait to come back in 2020?”

Even if Jordan were a better farmer, he’d still be more likely to lose it all betting the ranch.

James Comey did for Donald Trump what Jar Jar Binks did for the Empire, and both believed they were totally in the right when they did it.

It’s almost as if — and I know this is crazy, but hear me out — the guy who peaked his freshman year in college and has mostly played on losing teams since then may not be that good a pro baller.

Holy shit. This country really does deserve Donald Trump as president.

CNBC, also known as TVG for Sociopaths, is already a 24-7 Trump ad.

And just think, this is only one Garry Shandling casting couch horror story away from being spun in the other direction.

The same thing Nobel Prize judges saw when they cast votes for Bob Dylan: a chance at renewed relevancy.

I can’t even begin to imagine all the ways Vince, Paul & Co. will absolutely ruin Dalton Castle someday.

Speaking of old guys who never had nearly as much edge as they believed themselves to have, here’s a game show host introducing the official band of Moms’ nights out everywhere.

Or he’s miserable because 1) this is seemingly the only person who remembers Bill Hicks and 2) It’s hell. The whole thing is centered around each resident suffering eternally, and they’ve had a while to work on their craft.

CHILD OF PRIVILEGE WANTS MORE didn’t seem as click-worthy a title, I guess?

Maybe they’re waiting to see what happens after their first 2 consecutive games against a team that isn’t tanking.

Still, his trunks’ waistband correctly predicted who’d get knocked the fuck out.

They’d rather let Republicans win than serve anyone other than the donors.

Sherman should have been allowed to literally march them to the sea.