MMA is the Axe Body Spray of sports.

A Jones-Lesnar fight would likely resemble the old SNL skit about the All Drug Olympics.

“let Martinez know exactly what they though”

You’re imagining again that Clinton would fight for anything that wasn’t lobbied to her and focus group tested first.

Because they mostly play against people who can’t cut it in the pros. Your typical Alabama player has to face college football giants like Kentucky, Vanderbilt, the ghost of Tennessee, et al, and that’s before they play their non-conference schedule, which probably includes a school for the blind. The same incompetent…

I like to depress myself by imagining what the best teacher in the country earns in a year and comparing it to Blake Bortles’s contract.

Wilson walks out again...in the rain.

This is feeling like a rewrite of the Pippen in Portland era.

When I think of states with a strict sense of right and wrong, I think of the home state of Dick Cheney’s compound.

Wait, I thought John Calipari already coached the Pelicans’ d-league team.

England is, as is proven too regularly, quite racist.

So remember, for whatever reason you quit on the NFL before the midseason point(not you, fantasy football fans, you gave up any individual independent thought long ago!), the league’s owners think things couldn’t be better.

As if Harrison is the sort who’d physically assault somebody without at least dating them first.

Leader of the Resistance, Cathy Guisewite

Every piece on the Jags reminds us why they suck.

Remind me again, what other country is so accommodating to traitors?

Worst of all, Baltimore got rid of a historic monument worth keeping:

I figured his excuse would be something about too many showboating ball hogs and not enough gym rats who know the fundamentals.

Oh, sure. Tack a three-day hospital stay to the rest of his debt.

In an apropos tribute to the new owner, it will be redesigned to resemble a giant cold sore.