He’s a therapist, too?!

As in, “Ah cain’t believe our starter is Steel Ryan Tannehill!”

You realize that obsessing on your stomach muscles involves literal navel-gazing, don’t you?

Prince Amukamara did better Monday nights on Nitro.

Yeah, that’s what people think, not, “I know the first thing you’d rather be doing than reading a book.”

What do Curt Schillling and a poultry farmer have in common?

Also, it’s important to remember that nobody with six-pack abs is ever taken seriously, nor should they be.

I thought he looked like the last Al B. Sure fan in the world.

Our unemployable, ladies and gentlemen!

...Reince Preibus said this morning, before having his pint of vodka.

Now I wish some team would call itself the Savages and make the appropriate logo.

Specifically, Ric Flair’s F4, with him singing, “It’s time to go to schooo-oooool!” before applying it.

Nope. The correct answer is ARMBAR!

Good thing they unloaded eventual SB winning QB Drew Brees so they could get Jeff George 2.0!

It’s like they say, “Yue win some."

S-S-S-Sasha Kaun?

They tried once, but the bad guys won, and their candidate got the nomination.

The best way? No, he didn’t apologize to Cincinnati for stealing their money and giving them a one-legged Ken Griffey Jr. impersonator who fell apart the second week of June.

Coming in 2018: The Las Vegas Hornets.

Well, her father’s success, any way...