Easy: Front plate requirement. Ohio, requires it. Michigan (and damn near everyone else), not so much.

You forgot:

Majority of Jalopnik readers: “STILL TOO EXPENSIVE”

For a moment I thought this said “throw shells on the floor at home” and was thinking “FINALLY, another one like me!”

...now my feet are cut up and my wife left me, but FRESH PEANUTS, amIright?

With that profile pic, you’d think you’d be an editor over at Jezebel.

94 Civic, with mismatched door and replaced unpainted rear bumper.

Ouch, that impact probably knocked his monocle out.

That’s true, and they weren’t bullied, or made fun of.

Your putting WAY to much emphasis on the gender. Every shop does something like this to the new guy.

As dumb as these videos all are, I’m glad at least some of them cater to my club, “weirdos who enjoy watching suspension components move”

“At Farmers, we’ve seen everything.”

Also they bought the CR-V because they had a third kid.....Three kids! You are not fitting two kids and a car seat comfortably in the back of a CR-V.

Im with ballaban, although id probably go Focus RS over an STI but its still a good idea

I hate that front end.
Why not put the 2017 Model S front fascia instead?

Seriously, Jalops, this is it. The moment of truth. We need to buy this car.

Aston Martin Lagonda. AM’s first attempt at a sedan.

I was curious about this one so I Googled “33-03 jiggleypuff lamborghini”. Wow. Do not, I repeat, do not, Google that phrase. And even if you do, do not use the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button. I warned you. Really. Especially don’t do it at work.

Um, isn’t that how we got into that recession in the first place, except with houses?

You need a new wife.