Wine...and bracelets! Bracelets for every hour of the day!

If someone does actually manage to convince him that he needs to be present at the inauguration, he'll be doing that pouty crossed-arms toddler pose for sure.

Make it with cashew milk! We use unsweetened unflavored cashew milk in Kraft mac n cheese and honestly I barely notice a difference. Almond milk works in a pinch too but it’s not quite as savory.

I voted today. It felt good. Stood in line for an hour, which compared to a lot of places is a pretty breezy wait, but got it done. I’m just so over these last four years of this place being run by shitiots.

On a high school senior year trip to Europe, there were about 30 students with 3 teachers and one guide for the week. We were all assigned numbers so we could do a count off every time we got on the bus or were regrouping. One morning, after about 8 or 9 students had snuck out to go drinking at bars the night before, w…

That gold dress she’s wearing is absolutely hideous. It makes her boobs look like they are chameleon eyes, pointing in different directions.*

Oh I hope a resurgence but I definitely watched them as a kid during their original run. I can't wait to share their antics with my daughter when she's old enough to appreciate them!

I was in the small kitchen at work making hot tea, despite it being a very hot day. My two male coworkers came in all jazzed with a craving of iced tea, which they never drank, but again, it was a scorcher out. I knew their drinking habits because we were all super close, one of them being my ex (don’t ask). Which was…

LOL “chases people with cutlery” made me belly laugh! Cuz at first you think knife, but then realize that cutlery cud easily include a fish fork or a salt spoon.

Omg have that shirt now! It’s a reissue from Target. It’s all one color, turquoise blue, and huge cuz I got it as a gift when I was pregnant. I wear it as a night shirt now and my kiddo will request I sing “The Goiuld Goyews song” when she sees it lol. It's one of my faves!

Not given, but received: a Book of Mormon from my Mormon high school boyfriend after I let him feel up my heathen boobs. It wasn’t so much the gift of religious text that seemingly scolded my heathenistic ass that I was offended by, but that he felt guilty after he felt up my dirty dirty pillows.

You know, if it just boils all the way down to canceling Men, then really most of these problems will go away as a result.

Yup you’re exactly right. Mine is just over 2.5 and she’s still in her crib and sleep sack to keep her crazy ass in bed till I can get to her!

Omg my mom was making boxed shells and white cheddar cheese pasta one night a couple months ago. I taste it and it’s got this WEIRD flavor. I asked her to see if the box was old or something cuz it tasted funny. After wondering if the milk she used had turned sour maybe, I see that she used almond milk. Vanilla…

Awe thanks. We put him to sleep a couple weeks after that dream. I was so sad. He was miserable, tho, so in the end it was the best thing for him. I miss his floofy hijinks :)

Now, be fair. You know his statement will be written in Richter scale sharpie.

Unicorn Gazebo Mormon!

Tori Amos wrote a song about a Selkie.  It’s beautiful!

I had to be interviewed on a major cable network once for work. I’d been on local news occasionally and briefly, so we always knew you needed a ton of makeup to not look dead, or at the very least, like shit. Like you said, it’s distracting. So I went home to whore up my face past the point of normal bar-going whore…