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That line was my favorite quote in high school and I used it as my quote in my senior yearbook.

OMG I am actually looking for a new shower head right now! Finally, my day has come!

OMG I am actually looking for a new shower head right now! Finally, my day has come!

OMG DYING LAUGHING.

My cousins live in Orlando. When we go to the beach near, but not IN Daytona, sometimes for an afternoon day trip my cousins will drive into Daytona to go sightseeing. And by sightseeing I mean, and I quote, “Oh we like to drive through there and look at all the meth-heads hanging out.”

That’s good to hear! Did you get plates or pins? I have cartilage damage and it’s taking forever to heal. Bah.

Dang I’m dealing with ankle crap now. I wish I had broken it cuz I think it would be better. Did you heal ok?

Maybe you can sidle up to the bartender toward the beginning of the reception and slip him a $10 (or whatever you think is appropriate) and be all “Look dude, I may be with a cheese stuffing but don’t want to

Tell the guests at each wedding that you’re getting over an ear infection and can’t drink because you’re on antibiotics. Antibiotics FTW!

Oh, oh, Xanadu!!!

Magna cum laude.

Mine was Spellbound! Horny horns!

Jumbo Slice is only good because you’re drunk (and you want to dance in line to the music on that cheap boom box). Sober me wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot selfie stick.

Did a training for work run by a Canadian (with another Canadian taking the course) and I noticed this as well. Aboat. Also you Canadians are so Canadian sometimes and I love it. Also what is with unknown pronounced “un no when”? That blew my mind. Also he made fun of our accents and we had a great time and my god CAN

It’s Whole Paycheck. Ahem.

Just watched the Scream video this weekend just from feeling the urge to see it for some reason. I guess the reason is because it fucking rocks my ass.

He was lookin’ kinda dumb, when wantinnng to fight someone, when they threw. A big roll. At his forehead...

He’ll always be King Haggard to me. RIP, unicorn thief.

+100000 for the realultimatepower.net reference. May these idiots take themselves out via frisbee-style Seppuku.

Saw NKOTB with Boyz II Men and 98 Degrees and it was one of the most fun shows I’ve been to. The Kids have some new music that’s pretty good actually! Also lots of removing shirts and Donnie made out (like 30 seconds hard core with tongue) with a fan next to the stage. I die.