He would have lasted longer if he was thinking about baseball.

This is the best kind of dumb.

Matthew recommended she see Lions doctors

The thing is though - golfers know about them selves. There is no honor in an asterisk next to a personal best. I used to be like you and take liberties with justifications: “the wind blew it” “someone talked during my backswing”, but time has taught me. If you are going to score? Keep honest score. If you are going…

Don’t forget, Deadspin’s greatest two way threat.

Damn right; on a plantation, the gates were used to keep the coloreds inside the premises. #Progress

If someone wants to drink a Coors Light, that’s cool. I drink them too when it’s appropriate to not drink a fucking 8% IPA.

So it’s like going from engaged to married... once you hit a certain point, the faults just start accumulating at a faster rate.

I also am a fan of your comments, but I feel that creating a burner to commend yourself was unnecessary.

I knew once Deadspin started covering fucking soccer that fencing couldn’t be far behind. 

oh so that Switch beating is okay, I got you fam

Well I will just keep not doing it, then.

Me: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again...I love the Hornet’s court design. The honeycomb pattern, the teal and purple, the mascot. Perfect. Watching their home games/highlights makes me happy, even though I have no connection with Charlotte whatsoever. Kind of weird right?

“Well, I believe in the soul, the knob, the quim, the swell of a bird’s arse, the curling free kick, bangers and mash, brown ale, that the novels of Jane Austen are self-indulgent poorly-edited bunk. I believe Jack the Ripper never left a note. I believe their ought to be an Act of Parliament outlawing Omniturf and…

Tater tots in a hot dish!! What is this, Christmas!  Settle down.

IPAs are the white man’s pumpkin spice.

Bye, son.

no longer devouring eight slices of pizza in one meal,