Pfff, amateur. Everybody knows a Wyoming-shaped cutting board works better.

Wrong in the sense that you don’t do any of those things, or wrong in the sense that I’ve characterized them incorrectly?

Do you own a car? Congratulations, you have an “objectively dangerous rich [person]’s toy.”

This sounds more like a “my team didn’t make the playoffs” problem, or an “I live on the East Coast and demand that a playoff sporting event start before anyone on the West Coast can get home from work” problem, than a “baseball is bad” problem.

If you weren’t wildly entertained by last night’s baseball game—a game in which nineteen runs were scored because both teams’ aces shit the bed, one team came oh-so-close to overcoming a six-run deficit twice, and a relief pitcher with zero career extra-base hits hit a two-run triple only to give both of those runs…

Jeff Francis

PSA: If you do choose to drink herbal tea—which is a) a misnomer and b) not as good for getting through difficult times as a moderate quantity of good alcohol or a less-moderate quantity of actual regular-ass tea (but not, as Burneko rightly points out, black tea)—please do not buy it from the racist cult weirdos at…

And I’m telling you my spouse neither needs nor wants “protecting” in that scenario. She has told me pretty clearly she would rather face the ridicule her error will incur so that she can learn from it, and said to me almost verbatim, “Why would I want you to be embarrassed WITH me? That’s stupid.”

My wife doesn’t need a white fucking knight—a Big Strong Protector Man who will sacrifice himself and/or others to her weak, womanly feelings as some patriarchal act of chivalry. She needs somebody who will give her honest counsel and act like a grownup and a partner.

It’s clear to me that this guy probably talks down to her a lot, and that she’s insecure, so who knows how differently this plays out if they’re happily married.

So...you definitively always take the advice of your SO any time they give it, otherwise you don’t respect their opinion?

If you (the general you) want your wife to feel terrible so she’ll learn the error of her ways, you probably don’t love her very much.

The backstory here is probably really important, in that I’m guessing there’s a good chance Reddit guy is GENERALLY an unsupportive, tone-deaf moron and his wife’s reaction makes a lot more sense against that background. But with that out of the way:

I haven’t gone cold-turkey on the NFL just yet, but I feel myself slipping in that direction more and more every day.

It will never not be hilarious to me that less than a year after Jake Plummer took the Broncos to the AFC championship game, he lost the starting job to a young Vanderbilt product because Mike Shanahan caved to dipshit KHOW callers who thought Plummer didn’t give enough of a shit.

In the same vein as Ley: Dante Fucking Bichette. He was an inaugural member of the team I grew up with, hit many monstrous dongs (including an extra-inning walkoff job in the first game at Coors Field), and had one of the great mullets in baseball history.

“Why didn’t you build the airport next to the city instead of 87 miles away?”

You got us back in ‘09 in soul-crushing fashion. Damn you, Huston Street, WHY?!

I’m pretty sure I watched a scene from “Chuck Nazty Is Popping Off” on my laptop after my wife fell asleep a few nights ago.

Please, please, PLEASE do not let “Rock Boys” become a thing. This poor Rockies fan can only take so much lunacy on top of Dinger and the Comfort Dental Tooth Trot.