OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

Thanks Jezebel, now I have that image with me. Not just this morning but for the rest of my life. Could this have waited till at lest the afternoon? Can’t unread arghhhhhh!!!!

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

This is going to get to him bigly.  She could have written that his presidency is the worst thing to happen to America since 9/11.  She could have written that his wife is hideous looking and braindead.  She could have written that he is a grade-A asshole and dumber than a nutless squirrel.  She could have called his…

and there goes breakfast

GODDAMIT I JUST TOOK THE MARIO KART GAME OUT OF STORAGE FOR THE NIECES AND NEPHEWS. YOU JUST MADE SURE I WILL BE DRY HEAVING WHENEVER TOAD SHOWS UP.

Button mushroom or shiitake?

It’s always impressive when filmmakers assemble a truly dynamite cast and still make an awful movie. Like, you understand it intellectually: there’s only so much great actors can do to rescue crap. But you still sort of figure that if someone can pile enough compelling actors on screen that it should work out,…

Yeah I was thinking X-Men: Apocalypse would be good and he would be really good in it from everything he’d done up until then and now I know better lol

He’s got that Star wars money tho. He's set for life

Oscar Isaac really needs to have a stern talk with his agent he has been in alot of forgettable crap lately.

I just do not understand how Christians can read the same book I do and then take exactly the wrong lesson from it (spoiler: I do).

I love conservative evangelicals. Even when they’re trying to humble and self effacing, they can’t really hide the disdain they have for everyone who isn’t exactly like them.

“Look, someone has to do all this money-changing in the temple. I think Jesus would approve.”

she is an ultra-conservative evangelical Christian

Also obligatory

It’s been time to replace Manning for about 3 - 4 years, but once McAdoo benched him, Giants fans, the media and pretty much everyone else cried over how “disrespectful” that move was.  Seemed like a good football move, but heaven forbid an organization actually move on when it’s obvious they need a new QB.  The…

This.

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

They should keep Tom Brady inside on days like this. Put him in his bandana and let him sit on the couch with you. He loves that.