What they don’t say is that we lose Jobs and over 800 Billion Dollars a year on really dumb Trade Deals

Hey, Pence.

Jerry Jones watched this country elect his buddy president, so he doesn’t THINK we’re stupid, he KNOWS we (collectively) are stupid enough to believe anything if its being said by a rich enough guy.

That lawyer’s statement isn’t statement isn’t staggering at all. It is classic “I’ve got lots of black friends, so I can’t be racist.”

Y’all, I have, like, a teenage girl crush on Beto O’Rourke. We hugged once (well, side hug, like a Duggar) and I swear I got butterflies. He’s very, very handsome.

“Can I ask my customer whether her spouse died?”

Dear Salty Waitress: How do I conduct basic human interaction?

Any time I come across something like this, I wish I had the lack of ethics necessary to peddle this kind of bullshit and make money off the poorly educated idiots who buy into it.

Out of curiosity I clicked the Earthing link. Holy Shit. I thought it was a whole lifestyle...apparently it’s just not wearing shoes and absorbing “earth energy” through your feet. What the fuck.

Hey Salty,

Wiw. Just wow.

I love clueless letter writers like this. Really bish? You thought Salty was going to a) side with you b) give you legal advice? Have you read this column before? Have you read the comments, because I knew what the comments were going to say before I even read your whole “Waaaaaaah! But me and my Suki are…

Seriously. If I was the Salty Waitress, my entire response to this question would have been:

There are two things every dog owner will say in the time they own a dog. “My dog would never do that” and “Gee, my dog’s never done that before.”

I feel that way about kids 😁

“Is it even legal to refuse us” Jesus Lord, are you serious? And 15 pounds is not a small dog. I have small dogs (5 pounds, 8 pounds). I tried an empty dog friendly patio once, never again.

I know there are rules, but, I mean, I’m an exception to all rules right?

Both of these are great ideas, but I’m really partial to any solution that involves weaponized shellfish. 

I’d order something with a hard shell that’s difficult to crack, like lobster or crab, and then act real uncoordinated as you try to crack one open and ‘accidentally’ fling a crab leg at him.