Looks down in toilet: Oh!

Same - I fixed your headline for you.

I wonder what the Knicks are up to.

I have fish thawing in my fridge for my intended dinner tonight. Go to hell.

Counterpoint: NO. I’LL TAKE THEIR WORD FOR IT.

I can be bribed with ice cream.

Losing to the first ever expansion team to win the Cup would be an extremely Caps thing to do.

I can’t decide if the appropriate continuation of the Caps’ miserable history is to lose game 7 in the conference finals or to lose in the Cup finals.

I’m thrilled with how the Caps played, but in my heart I know this has only put off my inevitable disappointment for another couple days.

So Thanos was right?

Clearly there are just too many humans. We should instate some sort of population control.

I tell my dogs and kitties that I love them the mostest but secretly I love Fiona the mostest. Such a hippocrite.

Well, it wouldn’t be totally unprecedented for you guys to lose to Marc-Andre Fleury.

My favorite part of this has been Blues fans smugly pointing out how their team was the first one to win their conference in their inaugural season, as if that bodes well at all for Vegas.

I’m glad you asked! There is an answer to your question, and it is truly the modern-day Iliad, Odyssey, Aeneid, Gilgamesh, Beowulf, and Journey to the West all at once. It should be required reading in schools throughout North America. It can replace... I dunno... Where the Red Fern Grows, or Johnny Tremain or…

its a nice change i am sure after so much going south

After he washes out there, is there an Arctic Football League so he can just keep going north?

Oskee wee wee!

I’ll just go ahead and speak for all Caps fans:

Watching the first gif, I really thought a dude was going to pop out of that dumpster.