“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

“The shitters are getting bolder” is a phrase I never thought would pass through my mind, yet here we are.

at this point in my life, the thing I love most about this, and i love Keanu and I’m psyched that Winona has a romantic lead, is that Winona is only 7 years younger than Keanu and not 20.

I generally hate romcoms because they are so often beige and involve crises of stupidity where everyone acts like utter morons who forget how to ask and answer a straightforward question.

I went to high school with a kid named Paul Paul. He was Paul Paul the 4th. Which means 4 generations were fucking idiots

A sure sign that whoever’s running the simulation just can’t bring themselves to give a shit anymore. 

“names like Drake Rehfield and Chance Sutton and Kade Speiser.”

hey Elon, can we use the first BFR flight to send these worthless shitheads out into the Kuiper Belt?

[Raises Bitlovin and regalbeagle26...]

Associate Justice Samuel Alito writes, “a more direct affront to state sovereignty is not easy to imagine,”

Supreme Court: *snap*

Time to get back on the fantasy sports train again

As soon as my state opens a sportsbook, first thing I’m doing is putting down 50 grand on the Washington Generals!

For more analysis, we now go live to a bunch of lawyers with too much free time on their hands: the entire Deadspin commentariat.

Yes. That is an accurate description of events.

That painting is fucking insane.

Who are you going to believe, unnamed White House leakers or prominent Trump portrait artist Jon McNaughton?

This seems a good a place as any to go on my drunken rant.