As an aside, I hope this disposes of anyone’s positive thoughts toward Lindsay Graham. We had fun last year imagining him to be our kooky, effeminate uncle whose views we disagree with, but damned if we don’t love him, but truth is, he’s just as bad as the rest of them tripping all over themselves to kiss Trump’s feet.

Hitler?! I hardly know her!

That reaction face just says it all. “How dare you call me out on my racism by associating me with this racist group that believes all the same things that I do! I would never outright say that I am a part of them, because *I* am someone who knows that the really effective way to be racist is to be racist in the back…

Not that it matters, given that Donald Trump’s father was a member of the Klan.

I did Nazi that coming.

That’s an easy lie to spot because it came from the mouth of someone representing Trump

Kind of surprising that the Maracana is already falling in disrepair. However, the Brazilian league cannot fill up any of the stadiums and some stadiums experienced structural erosion because the bathrooms are so far away from the pitch. That’s right, fans walk to the concourse and piss.

Supposedly, Trump is writing his own speech, too!

What we’ve done instead of trying to surround him with what people consider A-listers is we are going to surround him with the soft sensuality of the place. It’s a much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation,” Barrack said. “That’s the way this president-elect wanted it.

“He really wanted it to be about the people, not about him.”

shhh....please, commenters, don’t spoil this article for me. I’m going to catch it later on NBC as it’s intended.

WHY WOULD SENSUALITY EVER BE USED TO DESCRIBE A PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION THAT’S NOT A THING EVEN WHEN WE AREN’T SWEARING IN THE GROSSEST MAN ALIVE.

The Olympics were only five months ago? Holy fuck - it feels like that was years ago. I miss Lochte being our primary unofficial national clown.

At least his first name isn’t Jefferson?

That’s Smokey and the Bandit: Buford T Justice.

Setting his views aside, his goddamn name: Jeffrey Beuregard Sessions III, even SOUNDS like he’s a fucking plantation owner in the Antebellum South.

“I don’t recall having said that.”

They also asked him if he ever said “LOCK HER UP!” during the campaign, and his response: “I did not... I don’t think.”

Is this fool really using the Shaggy defense?!