Edgar gets a set of steak knives.

Hoffman? Just racked up a lot of saves, which, statistically speaking “have as much nutritional value as a head of lettuce.” (Well, that last part’s fair.)

Bob City!

Hopefully the Clippers can flip Jordan and we can get the Boban minutes we all deserve.

Release whatever you got, Britt. We’d all love to see it.

Do we REALLY need to cut to a crowd shot when there’s 5 seconds left and someone is dribbling up the court for a potential buzzer beater???!!??

A minor nitpick: Clemens and Bonds are getting just over half the total votes, but 2/3 of what they need, so saying “half of the necessary votes” isn’t accurate.

Alternative headline: Four Out Of Thirteen Hall Of Famers On Ballot Elected To Hall Of Fame

I’m no expert on this band, but I feel the reading Darnielle gives is obviously the correct one. It’s so obvious, in fact, that I’m left feeling unsure whether or not this article is some kind of weird joke.

That’s not how we use “in my life” though. You have to add a “never” or a “at some point.”

I mean, it doesn’t particularly matter. I just don’t know why anyone would be freaked out by Darnielle’s version, which is a common use of the phrase.

Sure, but if you move “in my life” to the next sentence, it also makes absolutely zero difference to the tone or themes of the song. So you can understand why people can be a little clingy to their particular interpretation of the line.

“In my life, I hope I lie...” makes absolutely zero fucking grammatical sense, so, yes, John is right and everyone else is wrong bye

I’m shocked there was controversy about this. I always just assumed the “in my life” part was enjambed and a continuation of the previous thought.

“In my life I hope I lie and tell everyone you were a good wife” doesn’t even make sense particularly. Then the next several lyrics start with “I hope...”

I don’t think “in my life” adds much, content-wise, to either thought, so I don’t know why people would be hung up on this either way, but it obviously makes sense…

I have never heard the lyrics as anything but “and I never come back to this town again in my life.” I didn’t even know there was ever any confusion.

“In my life” concludes the thought expressed in the phrase “I never come back to this town again”, the guy what wrote the song is correct. That said, I am giving Mr. Darnielle a yellow card for Flagrant Abuse of A Semicolon.

He has the advantage of only having to ski across a very small country. Canada’s fucked.

Cutesy wedding shit (choreographed dances, lip dubs, raps, what have you) is a scourge in general. This best man did everyone a favor by keeping it simple and classy.

It’ s not just the videos. Load the site without an adblocker and it’s fucking horrendous. The normal empty whiteness is encased in shit. My blocker is currently showing 31 blocked ads.

And guess who helped write the jokey copy for the pop-up asking you to turn off your ad blocker on this very site? That was me. Don’t turn that shit back on. We need the money to replace Marchman.