I pay $5 a month or something for Slate just to read the advice columns. I would gladly pay more to keep reading Deadspin (even though I never made it out of the grays here), The Root, The Onion/AV Club, and the food ones.

Got recalled cuz it had a lil poison in it (not kidding).

“God seems like a vengeful, petty jerk who allows unimaginable suffering” was what led me away from Christianity as a teen. I used to be in youth group and Bible study and all that shit.

“Plebeians,” “imbeciles.” Are you an asshole who just stepped out of a time machine? Stay mad, my good sir. 

So waste a dozen eggs and some frosting? 

Kudos to the employees for standing up for their principles, but at this point, I wouldn’t work for Facebook unless I was desperate for a job. They’re so far gone as a company. 

There’s an entire S3 episode about Michael threatening to “pretend” to kill himself in a way that would’ve likely killed him (jumping off the roof onto a bouncy castle). It starts of with him doing it for sympathy but turns into him having a bit of an actual crisis and they have to talk him down.

We didn’t have a big ceremony (city hall, baby) but at our reception party thing, we just bought a ton of beer and wine from TJs or Costco or something. We got to return what wasn’t opened. The dress code was wear whatever you want, though.

How about we just skip all noose-based decorations. 

This week I had to terminate my second pregnancy because there was no amniotic fluid, either no kidneys or kidneys that didn’t work, and he would never develop lungs. Only one child with this has ever survived, only after having an experimental treatment (with serious complications for years of life), but we got our…

Easily? Muggsy was famous for being short. AI was famous for other things. I would expect anyone with only a passing remembrance of early 2000s NBA to guess Muggsy.

If I ever killed someone like this, even accidentally, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I would be ashamed for the rest of my life and try to do whatever I could to make up for all the bad I caused. I sure as shit wouldn’t fight justice every step of the way like this piece of shit.

Nueces County, huh. He’s really got women all over. Busy dude. 

I love theatrical makeup. However, isn’t high school drama class, he’s SEVEN. Don’t do bullet wounds or other gory shit on little kids!!!

We also get pink buildup from hard water where I live. It’s easy to clean, though.

We also get pink buildup from hard water where I live. It’s easy to clean, though.

I ate their pasta at rest stops on the Bolt Bus because I didn’t want Roy Rogers. It was sauce and noodles and cheese and therefore pretty hard to fuck up. 

Except, unlike Ma$e, I don’t see Kanye coming out with a new song about how women should value themselves.

I’m vegan, but this study seems surprising. I wouldn’t really expect the diet change to have such an immediate effect like that. I suppose eating a meaty burrito could make you more sluggish in the hours after than a veggie one.

Since my kid was a baby, I’ve been playing her a huge playlist with my favorite upbeat/fun/lyrically appropriate music, including several Prince songs. I was hoping she would think of that as fun music, so I wouldn’t have to listen to so much children’s music. It didn’t work, thanks to TV/children inherently…

Could the Wendy be Wendy Melvoin from The Revolution?