Pretty sure Zuckerberg owes America for a whole fucking lot, and Gawker refugees a little bit extra. He should use this opportunity to do some good.

We don’t nee to bring back lynching, that’s the criminal justice is for. Much more respectable that way.

No, I mean, they leak shit on him so that it becomes politically untenable for him to even accept the job.

I mean, agree to disagree.

I hate Susan Sarandon and Jill Stein and their smugness so much that my knee-jerk reaction is to be like, BUILD THE PIPELINE.

Yes, definitely call! Members of Congress are like children and dogs: the more you reinforce their good behavior, the better they’ll be.

On Earth 2, it is.

I sort of assume Harry Reid will be using BLM to establish his own fiefdom in Nevada come January.

To be fair, almost all of the federal employees I know (and I know a lot) believe this to be true. But I am also a pedant, so. . .

I thought for sure that the BLM would be abolished

I very much hate to say this, but since we’re in the realm of worst case scenarios:

If I can’t have happiness, joy, or reproductive rights for the next four years, what I really want is for Van Jones’s “Corey, you’re being a horrible person right now” to be giffed and used forever. Now would be a great time.

Who on earth do you think will impeach him?

I’m fucking not.

Have you read “Columbine”? It’s only one book, but it does an excellent job of hitting all of those topics.

Putting skim milk in tea is a crime against humanity, though.

Wait, I usually get something like, “Oh, do you like this one? Have you tried this other one that I like better?”

Learn the difference between a leak and hack, you stupid fucking fool.

I’ve literally never seen so many Americans pretend to care about Honduras until this year.

Wait, but hold on. That’s not voting with their vagina. That’s prioritizing something about a candidate over other things. It’s no worse than voting for someone because of a single issue, and it is, regardless, a decision they’ve made with their brains.