Uh, you know that curb stomp has a pretty specific definition, right? What happened to you sounds absolutely terrible and unacceptable, but. . . that’s not curb stomping unless they made you bite the curb and then kicked the back of your head in.

The Supreme Court says ignorance of the law is a totally legit reason for cops to do whatever the fuck they want, so. . .

Ugh, I’m an idiot. Fuck me.

never allowed to rest.

Let’s be friends.

Let’s count it as a win that the Wizards only metaphorically blew up that team and not literally blew up that team.

I firmly believe that if knowing the ending ruins the movie, it’s not a very good movie. I want to know all the things.

People lose their goddamn minds over “spoilers.” I got serious shade at work when I made a joke about George Clooney biting it in Gravity . . . six months after it came out. Like, I’m pretty sure it was available to own at that point. It wasn’t even a spoiler!

The way she folds her shirts has changed my life. The rest of my life may be a joke, but every time I open my drawers, I feel zen as shit looking at all those impeccably folded shirts.

The way every other student has their head down and their mouth shut says a fucking lot.

He’s a professor of anesthesia, not a neurologist, but okay.

Huge, if true.

They fail us so much when they speak. I’m sorry.

The MCU actors are ruining the MCU because they can’t stop saying stupid fucking things.

You know Ruffalo’s a 9/11 Truther, right? Not a deal breaker for a lot of people, but. . . oof.

Lincoln Chafee is the perfect embodiment of how fucking bleak the early 2000s were for anyone without a raging hard on for pillaging the Third World. Those votes would have made him pretty liberal among Clintonian Democrats, I don’t know how he lasted as long as he did in the Bush Republican party.

Her eyebrows are Lady Mary-esque and I’m jealous.

I wish they’d asked him where the fuck is Wallace.

I mean, but if you’re watching that media, you are supporting them financially. And if that’s something you feel comfortable doing, you do you, but don’t claim that you aren’t paying for Cosby’s lawyers when you catch his reruns.

For some people, the first clause of your sentence would be enough to make the second clause happen. Interesting that it’s not for you. “Psh, it’s just some kids dying!”