The fuck has Ryan Suter ever won?

You know that the international olive oil market (Big Olive, as it were) is predominantly controlled by the Italians, and that it’s a contributing factor to Greece’s shitty, shitty economy, right?

Kristen McQueary writes for the Chicago Tribune. Barack Hussein Obama is from Chicago (or is he?). Global warming causes hurricanes, and we all know that global warming was created by liberals who hate business. I think it’s time we ask the question: Is Hurricane Katrina Obama’s Katrina?

Well, the issue with the cab driver wasn’t that he didn’t pay him—it’s that Kane violently assaulted him. Which is far, far more in line with a(n allegedly) violent rape. I would say there’s a certain character flaw connection there, would’t you?

The entire Washington Nationals roster circa 2008.

Remember that time she couldn’t bring herself to vote for John McCain because of Sarah Palin? Those were the days.

Definitely do not use a telescope of Phil Plait will come after you.

Do you find threading to produce better results than just waxing? Is it more painful? Are the results with the pain?

I would actually disagree! I think it’s better to go to a beginner’s class as a blank slate than go with fucked up alignment because the lady on youtube can’t correct your crooked spine. Even if you don’t know anything, at least the instructor won’t have to undo all the and habits you’ve made.

Rumor has it that Julian Castro is also pretty sure of that, though it’s not clear if they’ve spoken. Ever.

But triangulation.

Christ, that’s grim.

This is the second most offensive thing I’ve ever read on Gawker Media.

Lily and Alfie are national* treasures. How dare you.

No, that’s an absurd and lazy comparison and you know it. Obviously there was a mechanism for passing legislation.

Aha! I’m also in the DC area. I saw Jurassic World in 3D and I’m still mad about how much it cost.

This is perfection, and I thank you for it.

Fucking Randall. Staaaaaaahhhhhhpp with the emotional manipulation.

What magical place do you live where your movie tickets still cost $8? :((((

Goddamn American hero.